Saturday, October 29, 2011

Munch's Hunches: NFL Week 8

Greetings StuntDad Nation and welcome to Week 8 of the NFL 2011 season.

Can two Raider quarterbacks throw 3 interceptions each, in the same game? Has Warners Bros. started casting for the soon-to-be made movie: "The Legend of Tim Tebow"? Did zero NFL teams not showing up to see his workout really drive Terrell Owens to attempt suicide?

Munch must have let his success in Week 6 go to his head, because he laid a big ol' goose egg in Week 7, which cost us an unfriendly visit from our bookie. Little did I know, Munch had made a hefty side bet on whether Chris Johnson would rush for more than 20 yards. After the loan shark left, taking Munch's brand new dump truck in the process to "cover the juice," Munch mumbled something that sounded like, "It was a sure thing, Dad." This became my first opportunity for a teachable moment. I explained to him that the only sure things in the NFL are: athletes with more gold teeth will always let you down and the Chicago Bears will always screw up their first round draft pick.

The Saturday Stuntline is shaping up as...

The Early Game
  • Match-Up: Minnesota (1-6) at Carolina (2-5)
  • Preview: Let's face it, the early games stink this week. 3 teams are winless, and 3 others only have 1 win. The lone bright spot in the first 6 is what's happening in Carolina as we travel down south to focus on one of the season's biggest surprises. Cam Newton has been the most scrutinized quarterback in history and has shut up every critic since Week 1. He has over 2,000 yards passing, including 3 games of +300 or more . He has already tied the record for most rushing touchdowns by a quarterback as a rookie (7). And, he is on pace to be the first quarterback since Jim Plunkett (1970) to have won the Heisman Trophy and not completely sucked. (I Stunt Dare you to argue this). It's crazy to think that Adrian Peterson won't be the best football player on this field, but if you were starting a football team tomorrow, would you rather have A-Pete or the Chosen One? 
  • Munch's Hunch: My favorite fruit is Fig Newton. Go Panthers!
  • StuntDad Diatribe: Right, and strawberry pop-tarts are MY favorite fruit, Kid. But, speaking of food, Adrian Peterson will man up and carve up a defense that has more holes in it than a doughnut shop. Mmmmmm, doughnuts. Look for A-Pete to score 3x and Christian Ponder to make everyone forget about the Donovan McNabb debacle. Cam Newton will light up the Vikes secondary and easily surpass 300 yards and Steve Smith will get his +100, but it won't be enough in this week's Super Stud Showdown Bowl. Vikings dunk the Cats 24-21.
The Late Game
  • Match-Up: Detroit (4-2) at Denver (2-4)
  • Preview: No city is more excited for Sunday than Denver, as they get to watch Timmy's first start of the season. Tebow-mania is at an all-time high and I can already think of the next great NFL drinking game: every time the cameras show a Bible passage relating to Tim Tebow,  one must take a shot! And speaking of shots, is anyone more excited to see Tim Tebow than Ndamukong Suh? Suh's been taking a lot of heat in the media this week for his face-mask take down and taunting of Matty Ice this past Sunday, so what better way to release a caged animal's anger and frustration than with fresh meat?
  • Munch's Hunch: Kings of the jungle. RAAAARRR! Go Lions!
  • StuntDad Diatribe: Taking the easy way out, Kid? I don't blame you. Detroit has lost two in a row, but the losing streak ends at Mile High. Matt Stafford will have a monster day and lead an air assault on a poor Denver defense. Megatron will add 2 more scores to his league leading touchdown total and the D-Line will have Tebow running scared all day. When I look at this match-up I see Tebow vs. Suh. Good vs. Evil. Superhero vs. Villain. I usually don't like to watch blow-outs, but it will be fun to watch  in this week's Comic Book Bowl. Detroit crushes Denver 44-17.
The Night Game
  • Match-Up: Dallas (3-3) at Philadelphia (2-4)
  • Preview: These teams are better than their records and while its still early in the season, the loser of this game could find themselves in trouble, especially Philly. The Eagles are desperate for a win. Last year in Week 5, the Eagles needed a prime-time performance from Michael Vick in a prime-time game against the Redskins. Vick responded with 6 touchdowns, 5 in the first half. In another big-time performance, DeMarco Murray went off last week with 250 yards against the Rams, and should have another stellar game against an Eagle run defense that is giving up +120 yards a game. POP-QUIZ: only two other Cowboys have rushed for more than 200 yards in a game, can you name them?   
  • Munch's Hunch: Who let the dogs out, woof-woof-woof-woof. Go Eagles!
  • StuntDad Diatribe: Like the rest of the world, I see that winning cures all as the Canine Killer appears to be back in your good graces, Kid. Might I remind you that just a year ago, you wore a "Neuter #7" onesie when they came to Chicago last year. The only dogs being let out is going to be the Cowboy defense that will chase down and destroy Michael Vick. Philly's 12 consecutive wins after a bye-week comes to a screeching halt. And then we get to witness another Fan-Frenzy-Freak-Out by the Freaks in Philly. Look for fans to throw beers, brats, and batteries onto the field after their beloved Dream Team falls to 2-5. WEEEOOOWWWWWW!!!! Dallas sneaks out of town 31-28. 
Now, we turn to StuntDad Nation on your thoughts on these and other games from around the league. 

Likes, dislikes, hits, & misses?

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