Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Getting Ready for a Baby Girl: Wiping Backwards

Since Wifey and I found out we are expecting a baby girl in November, I have random thoughts of tweakage.

Not in the angry or pissed off kind of way. And no, I don’t mean I’m thinking about taking five microdots and running down Wacker Drive naked either.

I’ve spent 17 months raising a little boy and although I never had a sister, I realize that there will be some slight changes I’ll need to make when K2 comes.
  1. The front to back wipe. Currently, I grab Munch like a turkey, raise his butt, wipe upwards, and put him back down. Given the change in, ahem, anatomy - I understand it’s not a great idea to “pour the chocolate on the sundae.” Hence, I’ve redirected my efforts - and let me tell you, its uncomfortable as he$$. It's like trying to throw a football lefty.
  2. Affection Modifcation. Yelling out “Come here dude” or “You’re my buddy, right buddy?” won’t exactly work with K2. Not unless I want her to host her own afternoon talkshow in 30 years. One of Ellen DeGeneres’s famous quotes: "Boys called other girls babe or baby...they called me pal." Enough said, right?
  3. Put down the toys. Everyone keeps telling me that having a girl means they talk that much sooner. From day 1, I’ve been told to get ready to gab. Uh, that ain't me, K2. When I play with Munch, I make goofy noises and speak in silly voices. Is than enough to address the notion that “baby girls thrive on communication?" Gulp.
What other tweaks am I missing? Help, I've got less than a month...
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