Welcome to Egg Hunt. The first rule of Egg Hunt is: you do not talk about Egg Hunt.

The Easter Egg Found on Fight Club

Sunday is Easter, and we will be celebrating Stunt Dad style. No church, no house of worship, no temple. This is for you—and only you, Stunt Dad Nation.

Welcome to Egg Hunt. The first rule of Egg Hunt is: you do not talk about Egg Hunt. The second rule of Egg Hunt is: you DO NOT talk about Egg Hunt! Third rule of Egg Hunt: someone yells "stop!", goes limp, taps out, the hunt is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a hunt. Fifth rule: one hunt at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: No shirts, no shoes. Seventh rule: hunts will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at Egg Hunt, you have to hunt.

Your hunt is for a virtual Easter Egg. It begins with locating an inside joke, hidden message, or secret message that has been placed in any form of media: film, music, video game, website, book, etc. Once you have identified your Easter Egg, you will post it as a comment below.

Here is your first and only example:

• Movie: Fight Club 
• Description: On disc 2, you can click the advertising header and press the down arrow 3 times; a green smile face will appear. Clicking on the "enter" button will take you to some unique movie merchandise and some memorable descriptions.  
• Easter Egg: a T-shirt featuring the description of: Be the toughest hombre on the golf course with this fashionable remake of a classic polo.

You are not Easter. You're not how many eggs you have in your basket. You're not the contents of your plastic Easter eggs. You're not your fucking Easter Bunny Costume. You're the all-thumping, all-hopping rabbit dropping of the world.

Happy hunting Stunt Dad Nation. Pin It Now!

Never Take Your Kid to a Baseball Game...Ever.

Your son after he goes to his first professional baseball game.

Take us out to the ball game, buy us some peanuts and cracker jacks, we don't care if we ever come back–literally. Because if there is one thing having kids has ruined, its going to a major league baseball game.

By definition, attending a baseball game is drinking overpriced beer, eating stale hot dogs, and sitting quietly in the same seat for three hours. It's relaxing, peaceful, and as an American, its our rite of passage. Baseball is our national pastime for a reason—we love to be lazy. That's why we invented the couch and television, because we wanted to be entertained and comfortable without having to exert any energy whatsoever. And nothing is more sluggish and lethargic than spending an afternoon watching a bunch of dudes throwing and hitting baseballs.

Before kids, we could show up to the park a couple of innings late, purchase the cheapest tickets available, and sneak into the best possible seats available. For $50, we could be catered beer, nachos, and hotdogs for three hours. We could keep score, take a nap, or completely zone out off into space. It was a way to enjoy the outdoors, feel calm and be totally anxiety-free for an entire day. These long-forgotten feelings were stripped the day we had kids. And after making the mistake of "taking them out to the ball game," we quickly realized that our local baseball stadium had transformed into the 7th circle of hell. 


Below are the top 5 reasons why Dads should never consider taking children to a baseball game, under any circumstances, at any age, no matter how much junior might beg, whine, or plea.

• 5. Money: Remember the $50 you spent? Multiple that by four, add $50 per kid, and don't forget stadium parking that will hit you up for another $25. Why, you ask? Starting with the shitty official game program that your kid won't read and throw in the garbage on the way out, to the shitty foamy finger they will wear on the way to your seats that won't be put on again, to the shitty peanuts that will give them diarrhea for the next week.
•  4. Bathroom Breaks: be prepared to cram yourself into a stall, standing on a urine-soaked cement floor, watching your kid hover over a shit-stained toilet as he desperately tries to take a dump for an entire inning—or, let him go by himself and be potentially molested by one of the many drunk pedophiles that are lingering about. It's your call.
• 3. Questions: Why is he bunting? Why aren't they trying to steal second base? Can I have a hot dog? Why hasn't the pitcher been pulled? Why do they make those hand signals? Can I have a Coke? What are they chewing in your mouth? Why do they always scratch themselves? Can I have cotton candy? What does it mean to be a pull hitter? Why do they have that black stuff under their eyes? Can I have ice cream? Why do they just stand there all the time? Why does one league have a DH and the other doesn't? Can I have another hot dog? You get the point. FYI: these start the exact minute you sit in your seat and does not stop until you stand up to leave.
• 2. Foul Balls: He doesn't care that his team won, that his favorite player hit for the cycle, or if he witnesses the first perfect game in franchise history. All he really wants is a damn foul ball, and—you don't even have to catch it. It could smack some dude in the face, bounce over three rows, and roll down the aisle next to your foot. But that's considered catching a foul ball and it's all he wants: a used, beat-up, $5 object that you could have handed him in your garage.
  
• 1. Language: no matter what age your child is, they will repeat at least a dozen inappropriate saying over the course of the next week. In fact, you can expect your kid to walk around the house saying randomly quoting everything thing the drunk idiots in your section were yelling at the top of their lungs for 9 innings: "Are you swining that bat or jacking it off?" or "Throw a strike b@#$h!" or "Open your f@#$ing eyes ump!"

If your kid is demanding that you take them to a baseball game this summer, we recommend the following: drive to your local high school that has free parking, sit in the free aluminum grandstands, and watch the local kids play 7 innings of baseball. No food and drinks are served, thus avoiding the chances of your kid being kidnapped or suffering from horrible bowel moments. The other people in attendance are moms, dads, and siblings of the players so there is no need to worry about your son dropping f-bombs or making masturbation jokes around the house. And because the talent level is so pitiful, your son will likely be too bored to ask more than a handful of questions. In fact, he will be so tired of watching 50 mph fastballs that he'll lose interest in catching a foul ball and want to leave by the 4th inning. Now that's what baseball with kids is all about. Pin It Now!

New Dads: Bond With Your Baby More Than You Ever Thought Possible

Do you feel like Mommy has had a leg up in the bonding department? Of course she has. She's had a 9 month head start over you, which has pit you as the underdog since day 1. Mom's ensured your baby has stayed warm, provided the essential nutrients needed for survival, and in layman's term—she's single handedly kept the kid alive. Much props to Mom, but before we crown her Queen of Baby Bonding, Dads now have an opportunity to give her a run for her money,  thanks to the fine folks at TICLL: Touch Instinctively-Communicate Love for a Lifetime.

We're all familiar with the saying, "It's not how you start, it's how you finish" and Dads, let's face it, we crawled while Mom ran—no, she sprinted to an early lead. But, this is America, and our country loves nothing more than a sappy comeback story. And Dads, you can be the hero of that story with  TICLL's latest and greatest product called the Blissful Baby™ Bundle.

This product will give you an instant connection with your newborn or infant. It uses the power of touch and massage, something that gives you a physical, immediate bond with your baby. The Bundle includes the following:

• Blissful Baby Robe: a soft and cuddly infant massage garment that comes in pink, blue, brown, or white
• Blissful Baby Guide: a 30 page book of detailed, illustrated, fact filled and wonderfully whimsical infant massage content
• Detachable Towel
• Matching Carrying Bag

Did you know that skin-to-skin contact lowers blood pressure and boosts the immune system? And, according to a study in 2000, fathers who gave their infants daily massage 15 minutes prior to bedtime for one month displayed more positive bonding moments with their infant. Now, I am not suggesting that you give your infant a bath every hour on the hour to make up for the previous 9 months, because that would be disturbing and likely warrant uncomfortable conversations with local law enforcement. But, I would recommend subtly commandeering a new bedtime ritual for the next year: snuggle time on your chest, bath, cuddle, massage, bottle, bed.  

Your baby can see you,  feel you, and understand that you are the one who's taking over these precious bonding moments, so take advantage of it and make her aware that Daddy is now officially the Transmitter of Touch, the King of Kuddle, the Master of Massage.



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100 Days for My Baby Girl: Day 100

Day 100

I don't know what's more difficult to believe: this project is coming to an end or that my daughter is almost 4 months old.

Time has certainly flown by, and while I've done some great things to remember this special time, such as her Time Capsule and Monthly Photo Journal, I haven't really been able to capture her movements or her sounds. This is the stage in life where she is full of giggles, smiles, and coos, just because she can.

This is also a stage that she will never remember, no matter how you try to explain it to her when she's older. When she's 5, she'll be able to remember what life was like at 3. But when's she 3, she won't be able to remember a thing. So, as much as this is for Wifey and I to capture, it's also to prove to her visually that she really was this tiny. And when she is throwing a tantrum, it would be nice to play the video and remind her that she was actually a sweet little happy bunny of a girl once up a time.

So, this day is going to be all about authentication. And here is what I’m planning to do:

Videotape my Daughter
God, that sounds horrible doesn't it? Or, do I just have that jaded of a mind? Well maybe a little, but the real idea here is to get a solid recording, not through an iPhone video, which ends up sucking when you try watching it on anything except your 2 inch phone screen, but a quality recording from a real video recorder. Something that will play nicely on a plasma screen and withstand the test of time. After all, these kind of things are pulled out for weddings and baby showers, right? Or, dare I pull a Google commercial and email it to a personal email address that I set up for her? It's not original, but its still pretty damn cute. Either way, I need K2's butt wiggling and mouth giggling at 1080p, the highest of the high definition.

For the last thing I do for the 100 Day project, I wanted to do something that would show her off now and 20 years from now. Something that is timeless. Something that would last forever. And, with this video I couldn't think of a better idea to wrap up my 100 Day project.

Thank you for following along with me on this journey. It's been a wild ride so far, and I'll check in from time to time with the latest and greatest thing I'm doing for K2.

What did I forget? Have any other ideas or suggestions? Check out the previous weeks below...
Day 99: Presentation
Day 98: Destination
Day 97: Lineage
Day 96: Vacation
Day 95: Reutilization
Day 94: Coordination
Day 93: Construction
Day 92: Exposure
Week 13: Relaxation
Week 12: Ideation
Week 11: Anticipation
Week 10: Performance
Week 9: Instruction
Week 8: Affection
Week 7: Communication
Week 6: Documentation 
Week 5: Appreciation
Week 4: Observation 
Week 3: Celebration
Week 2: Connection 
Week 1: Reminiscence

- Not a parenting blog, not a daddy blog, not a mommy blog — it's a Stunt Dad blog. 

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100 Days for My Baby Girl: Day 99

Day 99

I didn't realize how much K2 grew until we took her monthly photos this week. 

Gone was her sleepy-eyed expression. Gone was the fist clenching and toe curling. Gone was our curled up little ball of wrinkles. Here is this wide-eyed, long and lean little girl. She definitely has her mommy's looks and figure, which is a very, very good thing. But selfishly, what I noticed most were the two characteristics she picked up from Daddy: big hands and even bigger feet. 

Now I could worry that she will grow up to be an Amazon woman or a female sasquatch, but that's not very Stunt Dadish. Rather, I'm concerned she's gonna have a big ol' schwanz like her Daddy. All kidding aside, I'm going to do the exact opposite and show off her hand and feet. I'm going to highlight these adorably large features and put them on a pedestal for all to see.
 

So, this day is going to be all about presentation. And here is what I’m planning to do:

Baby Print Artwork of My Daughter
I love the idea of creatively capturing K2's paw prints. And the most unique way to do that is to make canvas posters of them. While this is similar to the Black and White Canvas Posters I made of her baby photos, there is something extra special about artistically capturing them as well. Whether its the color, the unique shapes, or just the simplicity of it, they will bring a great splash of color and freshness.

And, here's how I'm going to do it: I'm going to grab some paint, grab those feet, dip 'em, and stick 'em onto a piece of white canvas. After the paint dries, I'm going to grab a marker and draw the design of a butterfly body in between each of the footprints. I'm going to do that 3x times on 3 different pieces of canvas, hang them in her bedroom, and call it a day.

What am I forgetting? Have any other ideas or suggestions? Check out the previous weeks below...

Day 98: Destination
Day 97: Lineage
Day 96: Vacation
Day 95: Reutilization
Day 94: Coordination
Day 93: Construction
Day 92: Exposure
Week 13: Relaxation
Week 12: Ideation
Week 11: Anticipation
Week 10: Performance
Week 9: Instruction
Week 8: Affection
Week 7: Communication
Week 6: Documentation 
Week 5: Appreciation
Week 4: Observation 
Week 3: Celebration
Week 2: Connection 
Week 1: Reminiscence

- Not a parenting blog, not a daddy blog, not a mommy blog — it's a Stunt Dad blog. 

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100 Days for My Baby Girl: Day 98

Day 98

One of the best experiences of my life occurred three months after I graduated college. I boarded a plane, flew half-way 'round the world to Melbourne, Australia, and backpacked up and down the eastern coastline for the next year. I saw a part of the world that most people only read about in magazines. I met people from more countries than I can remember. And left Australia as a completely different person than when I entered... a person for the better.

Do I think it should be a law that young adults spend time outside of our country, meeting people from around the world, and experiencing different cultures? In fact, I do. I think it should be written in stone that life is too short to spend it in the state of Illinois or whatever state one lives in. The United States totals 3,794,083 square miles, accounting for just 2% of the Earth's total surface. We are a blip on a map. So do yourself and/or your children a favor, and get the hell out of our country and experience another part of this Big Blue Marble, if you haven't already. 

So, this day is going to be all about destination. And here is what I’m planning to do:

A Plane Ticket Out of the Country for my Daughter
No, I'm not sending my 3-month-old daughter to Australia. But for the next 22 years, I will be putting away $10 a month for my daughter to use towards a plane ticket out of the country when she graduates college. Will +$2,500 cover her plane ticket come 20 years? Not sure—but it should will help. And thanks to banking's automated transfer service, I can set this up tomorrow and completely forget about it. One of the biggest barriers about leaving our country is the money it costs to go somewhere else. On her graduation day, when other kids are going to be getting career advice, framed diplomas, or a stuffed teddybear in a graduation gown, K2 will receive a plane ticket to the destination of her choice. Where she goes and how soon she returns is something I can't predict, but I will guarantee one thing—she will have the time of her life, and as you can see below, just like her daddy did...

What am I forgetting? Have any other ideas or suggestions? Check out the previous weeks below...
Day 97: Lineage
Day 96: Vacation
Day 95: Reutilization
Day 94: Coordination
Day 93: Construction
Day 92: Exposure
Week 13: Relaxation
Week 12: Ideation
Week 11: Anticipation
Week 10: Performance
Week 9: Instruction
Week 8: Affection
Week 7: Communication
Week 6: Documentation 
Week 5: Appreciation
Week 4: Observation 
Week 3: Celebration
Week 2: Connection 
Week 1: Reminiscence

- Not a parenting blog, not a daddy blog, not a mommy blog — it's a Stunt Dad blog. 

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100 Days for My Baby Girl: Day 97

Day 97

In a perfect world, my kids would see much, much more of our family than they currently do. One set of relatives lives in Canada, another group lives in California, and we live in Chicago. Aside from my parents and brother's family, the majority of our family does not live close.

Since we hold family in high regard in the Stunt Pete household, I want our relatives to be known by our little ones. I want our children to recognize an uncle when they walk in the door or get excited to see their cousin that they haven't seen a year. So instead of relying on sporadic visits to or from family, I'm going to bring family to us. While I'm not thinking about taking on permanent live-ins or building cardboard cut-outs of everyone, I do like the idea of keeping their images in constant view.

So, this day is going to be all about lineage. And here is what I’m planning to do:

Family Photo Poster for my Daughter
I am going to take pictures of 26 family members (luckily, I have a big family) and make a poster of them. This won't, however, be your typical family collage. Oh no. Since K2 is only 3 months old, and based upon our experience with her older brother at that age, she is probably going to respond more to cartoons than real-looking images. So I'm going to take those 26 pictures and create photo caricatures of them, using the Cartoon Photo website. I am then going to assign a letter of the alphabet to each one of the cartooned images based upon the individual's name. As much as I would love it if each family member's name started with a different letter, there will, in fact, be overlap. So I'm going to have to be creative. Additionally, K2's room is themed with the following colors: Chocolate Brown, Green, and Pink (we were inspired by the poopy diapers and vomit). So I'm going to incorporate those colors into the poster. Eventually, this poster will be somewhere in the 11" x 17" range. Below is a work-in-progress snapshot (you can tell I'm not the one who makes all of our Stunt Dad art).

What am I forgetting? Have any other ideas or suggestions? Check out the previous weeks below...
Day 96: Vacation
Day 95: Reutilization
Day 94: Coordination
Day 93: Construction
Day 92: Exposure
Week 13: Relaxation
Week 12: Ideation
Week 11: Anticipation
Week 10: Performance
Week 9: Instruction
Week 8: Affection
Week 7: Communication
Week 6: Documentation 
Week 5: Appreciation
Week 4: Observation 
Week 3: Celebration
Week 2: Connection 
Week 1: Reminiscence

- Not a parenting blog, not a daddy blog, not a mommy blog — it's a Stunt Dad blog. 

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100 Days for My Baby Girl: Day 96

Day 96

With just 4 days left until 100 days, I just had an epiphany. Its funny how all great ideas always seem to come at the last minute, after you spent so much time thinking, planning, and doing. You get to the end of a project, and BOOM!, the light shines down upon you. 

Wifey's parents live in Canada, they are out of the question. However, my parents live just 20 minutes away. And, I have not taken advantage of that nearly as much as I should. So, in order to bring them closer to their grandchild, now would be an excellent time for that to happen. And, it would give Wifey and I some much needed one-to-one time.

So, this day is going to be all about vacation. And here is what I’m planning to do:

Grandparents Day with My Daughter
Yes, I realize that there is probably a Hallmark holiday established for this, but this is a different kind of Grandparents Day. This day won't actually be celebrating Grandma and Grandpa (Sorry, Mom). This day will be celebrating a day away from K2. Sounds horrible, doesn't it? I mean, who would want to spend the day away from their beautiful, adorable, baby girl? She's only this age once in her life, you should never want to be away from her. And just what would one do without her?

• Grab coffee and breakfast at a real, old-school diner?
• Come home and sleep until noon?
• Eat grilled cheese sandwiches and Doritos for lunch while you sit in your Snuggie on the couch and watch an uninterrupted movie...in the daytime?
• Read a book? An actual book that doesn't contain cartoon animals, three sentences on a page, or rhymes?
• Cook a dinner that doesn't involve a microwave, and be able to actually eat a warm meal for the first time in three months?
• Go to sleep at 8pm and not be woken up until 8am the following morning?

Yes, this horrible. How could we even think about doing such a thing. Very, very selfish on our part. Enough of that talk, that is just too irresponsible. We'll have plenty of time for those things in 2032. So, anyways...Mom, what day works best for you guys?

What am I forgetting? Have any other ideas or suggestions? Check out the previous weeks below...
Day 95: Reutilization
Day 94: Coordination
Day 93: Construction
Day 92: Exposure
Week 13: Relaxation
Week 12: Ideation
Week 11: Anticipation
Week 10: Performance
Week 9: Instruction
Week 8: Affection
Week 7: Communication
Week 6: Documentation 
Week 5: Appreciation
Week 4: Observation 
Week 3: Celebration
Week 2: Connection 
Week 1: Reminiscence

- Not a parenting blog, not a daddy blog, not a mommy blog — it's a Stunt Dad blog. 

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100 Days for My Baby Girl: Day 95

Day 95

Since K2 is our second child, Wifey and I know recycling all too well. Even though our first child was a boy, we were able to re-use alot of the same clothes, equipment, and necessities that we used with Munch. 

One of the more valuable things I've learned as a parent is thriftiness, which is a nice word for being cheap. Money seems to go quicker than it comes in, so I am always looking to save a buck, re-use things, or generally spend less whenever I can. So, building off that idea, I thought back to Week 2's theme of Connection and am re-using some of the photos from our Professional Photo Shoot. 

So, this day is going to be all about reutilization. And here is what I’m planning to do:

Black and White Canvas Photos of My Daughter
Our 1 hour photoshoot in Week 2 resulted in over 200 photos. About 10 of have been put into frames around our house and/or offices, the rest were posted to Facebook. Other than that, they appear on our Apple TV whenever we listen to music and look at photos (which has happened twice since she was born). Needless to say, we haven't got the mileage out of the cough, $$$$!#?#, cough, that we spent on the photoshoot.That is, until now.

I'm going to select three of those pictures, probably a close-up of her profile (because she had, err has, the cutest little chubby cheeks), a hand (because her fingers are so long and dainty), and a foot (because they were just downright gigantic). Through Canvas Discount, I'm then going to have those pictures printed out in Black and White at 8" x 8" on canvas and stretched & mounted to a wood frame backing. It's simple, it's artistic, and we have a great spot on the stairway wall leading into her bedroom to showcase them.

What am I forgetting? Have any other ideas or suggestions? Check out the previous weeks below...
Day 94: Coordination
Day 93: Construction
Day 92: Exposure
Week 13: Relaxation
Week 12: Ideation
Week 11: Anticipation
Week 10: Performance
Week 9: Instruction
Week 8: Affection
Week 7: Communication
Week 6: Documentation 
Week 5: Appreciation
Week 4: Observation 
Week 3: Celebration
Week 2: Connection 
Week 1: Reminiscence

- Not a parenting blog, not a daddy blog, not a mommy blog — it's a Stunt Dad blog. 

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100 Days for My Baby Girl: Day 94

Day 94

Under a week to go, and we've watched our little girl grow like a weed. She has completely outgrown the 0-3 outfits and most of her 3-6's. She fits comfortably into clothes that she shouldn't be in for another 3 months, which makes me think that she'll be needing 18 month clothes when she turns 1.

Which is great news, because she will likely be walking and it will be November, which is the of the year for college sports. College football is winding down and college basketball is heating up. And what better way to celebrate this time than by showing off where Mommy and Daddy went to college and fortunately for K2, we both have the same alma mater. Unfortunately for K2, I am sucker for matching outfits between parent and baby. Some people adore it, some people became nauseous. You can see where this is going: I'm one who absolutely loves it.

So, this day is going to be all about coordination. And here is what I’m planning to do:

Prepare my Daughter to Become a Mini-Me

As my daughter, K2 is going to need to be ready for tailgating. So I'm going to start loading up on football gear for her, which includes:

• Game day football jersey: any self-respecting fan wears this to a football game, so we might as well have her start from day 1
• Sippy cup: whether its milk or water, she's got to have something to chug it down with
• Camo beanie: it's Iowa, and sadly, this is actually a fashion statement
• Booties: again it's Iowa, a warm day in November is slightly above freezing
• Chuck Taylors: the girl will need some kind of style to combat the Camo
• Jammies: after a hard day of partying and cheering, she'll need something to pass out in

To see how her gear stacks up against mine, check out the comparison below. All in all, she's a girl after my own heart. I just hope she doesn't do half the things I did in college—gulp!

What am I forgetting? Have any other ideas or suggestions? Check out the previous weeks below...
Day 93: Construction
Day 92: Exposure
Week 13: Relaxation
Week 12: Ideation
Week 11: Anticipation
Week 10: Performance
Week 9: Instruction
Week 8: Affection
Week 7: Communication
Week 6: Documentation 
Week 5: Appreciation
Week 4: Observation 
Week 3: Celebration
Week 2: Connection 
Week 1: Reminiscence

- Not a parenting blog, not a daddy blog, not a mommy blog — it's a Stunt Dad blog.

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100 Days for My Baby Girl: Day 93

Day 93

One week left and I've just realized that I've been too soft with my daughter. From the songwriting, to the dance lessons, to the monthly photos, most of the things that I've done for K2 have been—well, girly.

I don't want her to thinking that daddy is anything less than a Stunt Dad, so its time to get my hands dirty. Time to show her why men were born to wield power tools. Time to show her why men are men.

So, this day is going to be all about construction. And here is what I’m planning to do:

Build My Daughter a Toy Box 
I'm not grabbing 5 pieces of wood, hammering nails into each of the corner, and painting her name on the box. That's bush league. If my daughter is going to get an education in Building Stuff 101, then this toy box is going to kick ass. 

  

After searching the Internet for some plans, I came across a Chalk Box: a multi-purpose box that is toy storage meets chalkboard. How badass is this? 

Not only will K2 get to chuck all her toys in the box, she can get her creativity juices flowing from the time she's 1 up through grammar school. And for me, I get to spend a day cutting plywood, hammering nails, and driving screws. I'm considering this a major win-win for the both of us.

What am I forgetting? Have any other ideas or suggestions?

Check out the previous weeks below...
Day 92: Exposure
Week 13: Relaxation
Week 12: Ideation
Week 11: Anticipation
Week 10: Performance
Week 9: Instruction

Week 8: Affection
Week 7: Communication
Week 6: Documentation
Week 5: Appreciation

Week 4: Observation

Week 3: Celebration

Week 2: Connection

Week 1: Reminiscence



- Not a parenting blog, not a daddy blog, not a mommy blog — it's a Stunt Dad blog. Pin It Now!

100 Days for My Baby Girl: Day 92

Day 92

As noted last week, we are entering the home stretch of the 100 Days for My Baby Girl Project. With just 8 days remaining, I am dedicated to doing something special everyday for K2.

Until now, baby has only left the house out of necessity for fear of exposing her to unwanted germs. But, the outdoors is a good thing: she gets fresh air, sees new sights, and hears new sounds. And, you get to get out. Away from the house that needs to be cleaned, away from the dirty clothes seem to never stop piling up, and away from your wife (I mean that in a nice way, honey).

So, this day is going to be all about exposure (no, not THAT kind of exposure, you dirty minded individual!). And here is what I’m planning to do:

Take My Daughter Out on a Date

It's going to be our first date. I'm a little nervous, a little anxious, and a little frustrated. That last 1st date I went on, I ended up marrying the girl, so I'm feeling a little pressure. I've made a list below to help keep me cool, calm, and collected and remind me of the key do's and dont's...

• Keep it nice and easy: Don't feel compelled to spend hundreds of dollars trying to impress her; she's only 3 months old, her expectations are minimal at best.
• Be early: And bring flowers. Show her this is important to you and that she's not just another baby that you're taking out.
  
• Age is just a number: Don't get hung up on the 33-year age difference; it's your daughter, she will love you no matter what 1980s reference you make.
• Avoid other eye candy: Don't go to parks or malls where your daughter will feel the need to compete with other babies for your attention; keep the date private and all about her.
• Dress to impress: It's your daughter, not a doll, which means she wants to be with someone presentable in public too; no scruff, no sweats, and no sandals.
• Don't forget protection: She will surprise you at the worst moment—probably twice— so remember to bring extra dipes and wipes, at least two bottles of milk, and three different outfits.
• Do your homework: She doesn't have a Facebook or LinkedIn page you can stalk, but she does have a mom; suck it up and ask Wifey for a few tips and tricks.
• Don't drink and date: Just one beer? It means you are in a bar. Which means you a horrible father. Your first date with your daughter and you can't go three hours without a drink? You should be fired. 
• Stay positive: You might get thrown up on, she might have a wicked blow out, and she might start wailing for no reason. This does not wipe the smile off your face. This does not make you think about heading home early. This does not let you be anything less than the cherry, excited, rockstar of a dad that you are.
• Eat what you want: Just because she decides on having "just milk" to eat, don't let that stop you from getting a hamburger, hot wings, or pizza. Having "just a salad" won't impress her.
• Act interested in her: Don't spend the entire time playing Words With Friends, talking on your cell phone, or gazing off into the distance. Ask her questions, maintain eye contact, laugh when she laughs.
• This is not your personal therapy session: Do not bitch about your job, complain about the bills you pay, or lecture her about boys. Talk to her, find out what makes her smile, and coo and giggle.
• Don't over-analyze her: If she stares off into the distance, it doesn't mean you're boring—she is probably just mesmerized by a pigeon. If she frowns from time to time, it doesn't mean she's doesn't like you—she is probably needing to poop. And, if one minute she smiles, the next minute she cries, it doesn't mean you don't get her—she is probably trying to decide if she wants to sleep or stay awake.
• Don't talk about your ex: Keep your other child(ren) out of this. Don't talk about how the older brother is such a great athlete or the older sister will become a movie star someday; it'll come across as favoritism and create a sense of bitterness.
• Be yourself: If you're funny, tell her jokes. If you're romantic, tell her about the sweet things you've done for Wifey. If you're boring, tell her how you and Wifey met. Just don't be someone you're not, she will see right through you.
• Give compliments: Just because she can't tell you how hot and sexy you are doesn't mean she doesn't want to be, or deserve to be, called beautiful, cute, adorable, sweet, angelic, loveable, the one and only, the light of your life, etc...remember, this is not about you.
• Kill 'er with kindness: Over and over and over, tell her 3 words. As often as you can, say I LOVE YOU. True, it's just a first date and this a pretty over-the-top feeilng, but when you feel it, you feel it—right?

What am I forgetting? Have any other ideas or suggestions?

Check out the previous weeks below...
Week 13: Relaxation
Week 12: Ideation
Week 11: Anticipation
Week 10: Performance
Week 9: Instruction

Week 8: Affection
Week 7: Communication
Week 6: Documentation
Week 5: Appreciation

Week 4: Observation

Week 3: Celebration

Week 2: Connection

Week 1: Reminiscence



- Not a parenting blog, not a daddy blog, not a mommy blog — it's a Stunt Dad blog. Pin It Now!

My Newborn Daughter, The Future Kung Fu Master

Mysterio Predicts T-Shirts

My daughter is going to kick your kid's ass someday.

Not out of spite nor hate, but because it's—her destiny! Thanks to the amazing, almost downright scary Mysterio, my daughter's path in life will follow some of the greatest action heroes of our generation:  Bruce Lee, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Ralph Macchio. That's because occupation predictor Mysterio has bestowed my daughter's fate on a t-shirt: KUNG-FU MASTER.

At first, I was a little taken aback. I was expecting a softer, more girl-friendly prediction from Mysterio. Cruise director? Sure, she could see the world! Donut Tycoon? Sweet, long johns for life! Professional bowler? Heck yeah, we got ourselves an athlete! But—Kung-Fu Master?

My 1st thought was: well, it looks like she's going to be a lesbian. Not that there's anything wrong with that, and not that I think all women who study martial arts are lesbians, it's just something that popped into my head. My 2nd thought was: well, at least she will be able to beat the sh*t out of people.

And that's when I really got excited. That thought alone got me so jazzed up that I got into our car, drove to Target, and purchased Kung Fu Panda and Kung Fun Panda 2. My little girl needed to start her training for the Kumite. And with my little girl being only 3 months old, I figured that I will start her on some Kung Fu cartoons before we started her on the Bloodsport marathon. Because my 3rd thought was: ass-kicker=intimidation=no BOYS will mess with her!

So if you have a bun in the oven or know of someone who will be expecting soon, here is the perfect gift you can give that newborn: a true sense of identity from Day 1. And, if Mysterio does predict him or her to be a Criminal Mastermind, give me a call because I will be raising the perfect sidekick/bodyguard. Together they can achieve what most of us only wish for: world domination.

What would you want Mysterio to predict for your little one: Romance novelist? Monkey wrangler? Conspiracy nut?

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100 Days for My Baby Girl: Week 13

Week 13

You are heading into baby’s 3-month birthday. I don’t know about you, but it’s been an exhausting process. K2’s middle-of-the-night feedings, her wailing for no rhyme nor reason, the constant attention she demands—all the while, trying to train, teach, and track down the whereabouts of my 2-year-old son, Munch—has left Wifey and me beat. For 12 weeks, I’ve done some pretty great things for K2 and Wifey, so now comes the week where it's all about me. It’s important to remember that you do have a life outside the home—and at the right time, in the right place, it’s healthy to remember that life.

By the end of this week, there will be just 9 days left until my daughter's first 100 days, and for that final week+, I’ll be doing something everyday for her. That is why I need to rest up, chill out, and get ready for the final push.

So, this week is going to be all about relaxation. And here are two things I’m planning to do:

#1 Have a Night Out With the Boys                           

I’m not asking for Bulls courtside seats or a Blackhawks game at center ice—just a few hours at a bar with my close buddies. You know, watching a random basketball game and prop betting on the next team to hit a 3, eating a plate full of cheese fries before my basket of hot wings comes out, and drinking whatever beer special they have on tap. I don’t want to take part of any conversation that doesn’t have us arguing over the reason(s) for the Blackhawks sudden collapse, debating whether the Bulls need Dwight Howard, or examining what the White Sox chances are for winning the AL Central. Any other topic comes up and I’m going to shut up. I don’t care about a half-naked Rob Gronkowski partying with strippers after the Super Bowl loss (the NFL season is over). I don’t care about how Kentucky’s freshman make them the best team in college (it’s not March yet, so college basketball is meaningless right now). And, I don’t care about Urban Meyer being an a-hole and poaching recruits (real football is only played on Sundays). I want to talk Bulls, Hawks, and Sox. And if anyone wants to talk about family, wives, or kids, I’m going to pour my beer over their head.

#2 Watch My Favorite Movie with My Daughter

You are never too young to be introduced to the western movie genre, even at 3 months of age, and you are never too old to wish you were a cowboy. This Saturday, K2 and I are going to plop onto the couch and we are going to watch Tombstone. Two hours of men being men, in a simpler time were men rode horses, wore brimmed hats, and got to shoot things. If someone was being rude, you'd shoot 'em. If someone was acting stupid, you'd shoot 'em. If someone pissed you off, you'd shoot 'em. Will K2 understand this? Of course not, but remember, it's all about me this week. Besides, here's a little something for her: she'll be lucky enough to be introduced to both Sam Elliot and Powers Boothe in the same movie. Awesome, right? If she doesn't appreciate them for some crazy reason, I suppose she'll be happy with the eye candy of Jason Priestley and Val Kilmer. Or, if I'm lucky, she'll close her eyes 5 minutes in and wake up just in time to see the shootout at the OK Corral. But then again, it really doesn't matter because it's all about me. (Have I told you that yet?)

Preparing for the final days of a 100-day challenge requires two things: commitment and downtime. And after 13 weeks, you've earned some downtime. Call up your buddies and grab some beer, or grab your little boy or girl, snuggle them into the couch, and enjoy a great movie. Either way, you are relaxing, rejuvinating, and ready to take on that final week.

Check out the previous weeks below...
Week 12: Ideation
Week 11: Anticipation
Week 10: Performance
Week 9: Instruction

Week 8: Affection
Week 7: Communication
Week 6: Documentation
Week 5: Appreciation

Week 4: Observation

Week 3: Celebration

Week 2: Connection

Week 1: Reminiscence



- Not a parenting blog, not a daddy blog, not a mommy blog — it's a Stunt Dad blog. Pin It Now!

100 Days for My Baby Girl: Week 12

Week 12

She's almost 3 months old and already she has her own thoughts on life. 

Just last week, Peek-A-Boo would have my little girl giggling and smiling for nearly 20 minutes. Now, that game seems to be yesterday's news as she turns her head and looks away. I can tell she is done with it and ready for the next great Daddy-Daughter game. I jogged my memory for the games we played with Munch and thought about stealing, err borrowing one for K2. The two that came to mind where:

• Pop! Goes the Squeezal!: I would hold Munch in my arms as we walked around the house and I would hum the familiar tune, grab random, everyday objects and give them a squeeze while (eg, turkey baster, orange, shampoo bottle) shouting, "Look, it's a football. Pop! Goes the Squeezal!"
• This Little Baby: I would hold Munch in my arms as I would recite a revised version of the famous poem as we would hurry from one area to the next. This little baby went to kitchen, this little baby stayed in bed. This little baby liked the basement, this little baby preferred the den. And this little baby went...."waa waa waa" all the way back to bed. And we'd flop onto the bed and giggle for the next ten minutes.

There were a few more nursery rhymes that were "Munch-ified" that made for some personalized interaction that brings out parent's personalities. Apparently, we are goofy, snuggely parents who aren't afraid to use their house as a personal walking tour for their baby's entertainment. What I do think is important is that we took existing ideas and made them our own—made them more true to not only us, but to our son. But, instead of ripping off what we did for Munch, I believe K2 should have some fresh thinking, because she is obviously having new ideas of her own.

So, Week 12 is going to be all about ideation. And, here are two things I'm planning on doing:

#1: Daddy Life Lessons
My wife would agree, I have short memory. She will say something important, I'll forget about it a week later. I'll say something funny, and I'll forget about it a day later. And when I think of something really inspiring and thoughtful, I usually forget it about an hour later. I usually forget all of these things—unless I write it down. And the most important things that I want to share with my daughter are the things I don't want to forget to tell her about, such as the first five below.

• You are beautiful, every hour of every day—and you don't need to lose weight or wear make-up to prove it
• Being mean and bitchy is wasteful energy—life is much more fun when you are smiling, laughing, and being nice to people
• Go for it, always—you'll have plenty of time to daydream and think about the should'ves, would'ves, and could'ves when you retire—so don't do it in your 20s
• Trust is earned and not to be assumed—what you say or what you type is going to be repeated and tweeted to your best friend's cousin's step-sister's neighbor's boyfriend who lives in Europe, in less than 10 minutes
• No one owes you anything—You want to play sports? Practice. You want a scholarship? Study. You want to make a million bucks? You will need to work—hard

#2: Write a short-story for my daughter
I know she won't be able read it today, tomorrow, or the next, but someday she will; and until then, I'll read it to her. I won't be writing a novel, heck—it may only be a few pages. But, it will be something I made just for her. Something to let her know that Daddy thinks she is pretty darn special. I'm sure it will probably include a princess, a good guy, and a bad guy, but it will still be an original thought, with a clear, important message for her: don't date until you are 21. Just kidding—maybe. Whether it's treat others how you wish to be treated or every action has a consequence or no one will ever measure up to her father, some life lesson will be woven into a story full of horses, knights, and dragons. And when she is old enough to read and laugh at this story, I will turn the tables on her and have her write a story for me.

I want to be the best dad possible, looking out for my little girl even when she's not such such a little girl anymore. The world will constantly change and I want to remind of all of things that she needs to know to make that world a little easier, safer, and as enjoyable as possible.

What am I missing? What else could I be doing for my baby girl? What lessons should I remind her of?

Check out the previous weeks below...
Week 11: Anticipation
Week 10: Performance
Week 9: Instruction

Week 8: Affection
Week 7: Communication
Week 6: Documentation
Week 5: Appreciation

Week 4: Observation

Week 3: Celebration

Week 2: Connection

Week 1: Reminiscence



- Not a parenting blog, not a daddy blog, not a mommy blog — it's a Stunt Dad blog.

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100 Days for My Baby Girl: Week 11

Week 11

Blue eyes or brown? Blond hair or dark? Social butterfly or bookworm? These are the questions that have been debated between Wifey and I this week.

However, caucasian baby eyes don't change color until about 6-9 months, if they are going to change. K2 is currently bald, so it will be a long time before we see what hair color she has (my hair went from toe head to brown when I was 8 years old). And, she's not even remote close to walking, let alone reading. So why do we ask ourselves these questions so early on in our little girl's life? Because we are parents, that's why!

While, it's our job to plan ahead, see what's on the horizon, and be prepared, quite frankly, it's just fun to sit around and talk about what she's going to be like when she grows up. Every time she giggles, I laugh and say, "she's going to be a comedian just like mommy!" Every time she cries, I sigh and say, "she's  going to be fussy just like daddy." But, every time she kicks her feet and swats her hands, Wifey and I both smile proudly and say, "she's going to be athletic, just like both of us." No matter what age K2 is, we are both going to be well ahead of her, getting ready for the ups and downs that are sure to come.

So, Week 11 is going to be all about anticipation. And, here are two things I'm planning on doing:

#1: "Top 10" Contest for My Daughter
Now you know where my son gets his gambling from. Yes, it's true—I will be organizing a family and friends contest to correctly guess key progress throughout K2's life by focusing on the top 10 milestones that are absolutely critical for her to achieve or be confirmed after 1 year.

1. Eye color
2. Hair color
3. Number of teeth
4. Will she have had a haircut
5. Will she be walking (on her own)
6. Will she say both "mama" and "dada" (to the correct parent)
7. Will she be able to give a "high-5" (on command)
8. Will Daddy have a classic "she pooped on me", "she peed on me", "both" story
9. Over/under (5) on the number of public places we will have abruptly left due to a K2 meltdown
10. How far will she be able to throw Munch's Iowa Hawkeye Mini-Football (in inches) Tie-breaker: what inappropriate word will K2 have mastered saying

Each completed entry will also have a $25 fee. This fee gets them a seat at K2's 1-year birthday party, where the winners will be announced (1st, 1st runner-up, honorable mention). Not only will the prize money generate a lot of interest in keeping tabs on K2, but it will also force them to come to the birthday party. And you know what that means? More people=more free stuff for K2=less stuff Mommy and Daddy have to spend on K2= more money we get to spend on ourselves=leather recliner? Projection TV? Bose surround system? A father can dream, can't he?

#2: Set up a College Fund for My Daughter

Would you miss $100 a paycheck? Me too. But—I can stomach it, knowing that tax free money will be going to my little girl for her to go to college. At this rate: 2x a month, 12 months a year, for 18 years will build a little nest egg for her. Now, the good news is that will equate to upwards of $40,000 a year. The bad news is that may be good enough for just her freshman year of high school. 20 years ago, the average 4-year university cost $12,185 per year. Two years ago? $20,986. Which is nearly doubled. So, looking ahead to the year 2029, and thinking one year alone could amount to ~$40,000 a year??? Well, at least one year will be paid for. So, it looks like we will be looking for a new house in a school district that offers college credit classes!!!

Somehow, this posting kind of suggests that kids cost money. While that was not intentional, I suppose its unavoidably true. But—if you plan accordingly, like conning those closest to you in order to have a kick ass home theater or sacrificing a little bit of money now to find out that it wasn't nearly enough in the future, it might make you feel a little better about the cash your little ones will bleed you dry for over the next 18-20 years.

What am I missing? What else could I be doing for my baby girl?

Check out the previous weeks below...
Week 10: Instruction
Week 9: Instruction

Week 8: Affection
Week 7: Communication
Week 6: Documentation
Week 5: Appreciation

Week 4: Observation

Week 3: Celebration

Week 2: Connection

Week 1: Reminiscence



- Not a parenting blog, not a daddy blog, not a mommy blog — it's a Stunt Dad blog.

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