My Newborn Daughter, The Future Kung Fu Master

Mysterio Predicts T-Shirts

My daughter is going to kick your kid's ass someday.

Not out of spite nor hate, but because it's—her destiny! Thanks to the amazing, almost downright scary Mysterio, my daughter's path in life will follow some of the greatest action heroes of our generation:  Bruce Lee, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Ralph Macchio. That's because occupation predictor Mysterio has bestowed my daughter's fate on a t-shirt: KUNG-FU MASTER.

At first, I was a little taken aback. I was expecting a softer, more girl-friendly prediction from Mysterio. Cruise director? Sure, she could see the world! Donut Tycoon? Sweet, long johns for life! Professional bowler? Heck yeah, we got ourselves an athlete! But—Kung-Fu Master?

My 1st thought was: well, it looks like she's going to be a lesbian. Not that there's anything wrong with that, and not that I think all women who study martial arts are lesbians, it's just something that popped into my head. My 2nd thought was: well, at least she will be able to beat the sh*t out of people.

And that's when I really got excited. That thought alone got me so jazzed up that I got into our car, drove to Target, and purchased Kung Fu Panda and Kung Fun Panda 2. My little girl needed to start her training for the Kumite. And with my little girl being only 3 months old, I figured that I will start her on some Kung Fu cartoons before we started her on the Bloodsport marathon. Because my 3rd thought was: ass-kicker=intimidation=no BOYS will mess with her!

So if you have a bun in the oven or know of someone who will be expecting soon, here is the perfect gift you can give that newborn: a true sense of identity from Day 1. And, if Mysterio does predict him or her to be a Criminal Mastermind, give me a call because I will be raising the perfect sidekick/bodyguard. Together they can achieve what most of us only wish for: world domination.

What would you want Mysterio to predict for your little one: Romance novelist? Monkey wrangler? Conspiracy nut?

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T-Shirt + Sports Logo=Perfect Gift

With the announcement of K2 coming in November, friends and family were quick to provide us with “big brother” clothes for Munch.

One of the best came in the form of a silk screened T-Shirt reading: Blackhawks logo + BIG BRO 1 via Gafy.com.

Significance?

Winter Classic. January 1, 2009. First-ever hockey game at Wrigley Field. An "Original 8" match-up between my beloved Chicago Blackhawks vs. the hated Detroit Red Wings. And, it was our first date (Wifey + Me).

I stole, err, adopted this idea for a few friends. You can go as straight-laced or as wacky as you want to get. Some of my personal creations are below:

• Mahoning Valley Scrappers mascot on front and RyGuy #1 on back (The Scrappers are my friend's fantasy baseball team and Ryan is his son's name)
• Face of Keyser Soze on front and Big Earl #3 on back (The Usual Suspects was the movie my co-worker and his wife were watching when she went into labor and Earl was their 3rd child)
• Panda Express logo on front and TBD #99 on back (My distant cousin spent a year backpacking China, and no one will ever know how many kids he left behind)

For a "cost-effective" alternative, check out our previous Stunt Dad posting Onesies That are The Twosies.

Has anyone else gave or received other fun "custom" made t-shirts?

- Not a parenting blog, not a daddy blog, not a mommy blog — it's a Stunt Dad blog.

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There’s No Place Like...Children’s Place

When Munch was born, we spared no expense. Truth be told, it happened before he was born—long before.

On August 30th, 2009, we found out Wifey was 6 weeks pregnant. On August 31st, we were at Buy Buy Baby. It happened that quick, and by it, I'm referring to the spending.

And, while the spending hasn't stopped, we've definitely managed to contain it.

But—he was our first. And who doesn't spend their life savings on showering their first born with over-priced clothes? You're probably thinking about that $25 embroidered onesie you bought for your little one. Or, the $45 dress that was too-adorabley-cute-not-to-buy that she wore just once.

Go ahead, smile, you know you did. Well, my friend, you are not alone. I'm one of the most cost-conscious dads out there, yet I still paid $32 for a Jungle Jam Elephant Sleeping Bag. For the first few months of his life, he was a walking billboard for our favorite Chicago infant clothing stores:

- Giggle

- Bullfrogs & Butterflies
- Little Threads

Surely, it was completely normal to spend $40 on an Alpaca Mouse Hat when the kid hates anything that goes on his head. And, why shouldn't I have spent $50 on his first Chuck Taylors that he grew out of in a month?

Because there is a place. A beautiful place. With beautiful clothes. And beautiful prices. A place so beautiful that onesies are under $2, dresses are under $5, shoes under $10, and you simply just can't get enough. This place is....THE CHILDREN’S PLACE.

I’m not sure how Wifey stumbled upon this magical world of cost savings, but I do give a slight nod to the Shopping Gods whenever I see Munch in his latest $9.99 OUTFIT (meaning a top AND a bottom). In fact, we got 3 sleep stretchies for $4.99 a piece. I know what you're thinking Dads, "Impossible! Not a chance!" And yet, it's true. So wonderfully and blissfully true. 

Munch grew so quick as a newborn that if we got him to get at least one wear out of a $50.00 outfit from Janie and Jack before he outgrew it, we considered it a win. Now, if it doesn’t come from clearance or cost less than $15, we don’t buy it. We’ve saved so much $$$ and the kid still looks adorable. Llet’s face it, you could put a garbage bag on 90% of the kids out there for their first year and you’d still get oohs and ahs. Oh, the wisdom one gets after six months of having a child. 

So, for those of you who are prospectin', preparin', or plannin' for parenthood, here's a Wardrobe Tip: at their age, spend smarter, not harder, Stunt Dad Nation.

Anyone else know of some cheap, err, cost-effective children clothing stores?

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Cool T-Shirts

A friend sent some T-Shirts for my son's birthday last year. Ever since, I've actually had a lot of people (mostly dads) give me the nod of approval—and every once in a while—throw in a, "Cool shirt. Where d'ya get that?". I'm not a fashion guru or anything, but since I like these shirts and it seems others do to, I thought I would share a link to Brooklyn Juniors. The wrench continuously receives the most nods of approval.

Any other good places to get some threads? Let us know in the comments. Pin It Now!

First Gift for K2: Rufflebutts

Last night, I broke down.

I can admit that shopping is not really one of my things. I wasn't for Munch, and probably won't be for K2. However, Wifey and I were checking out Zulily and we came across "irresistible cuteness" in the form of Rufflebutts.

I’m not going to say how much we spent (gulp), but I couldn’t help it. I broke my own rule (no more than $10/item), but I didn’t care.

And to think, this little girl already has daddy wrapped around her finger and she’s not even born yet.

Crap, I’m in trouble with this one. BIG trouble.

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