Saturday, December 3, 2011

Munch's Hunches: NFL Week 13

In Week 12, Munch continued his winning ways by going 2-1 and is riding that confidence into Week 13. Some of his fellow daycare classmates are concerned that his hot streak might be going to his head as 3-year old, Dimitri Stephanopoulos reported that Munch "bet the world" that he would run the table this week. "He bet all 12 kids at Darling Angels daycare that he would win all 3 games this week. Quite frankly, he's getting a little too cocky. I saw his picks - Denver is overrated, Baltimore is inconsistent, and he's one Pick 6 away from New Orleans getting sacked in the Superdome." Apparently, if Munch wins all 3 games, he gets a 12-pack of rice pudding. If he loses just one game, Munch is on diaper detail for the entire week. While most of the group shares Dimitri's sentiments about Munch, 2-year old Alexis Huntington sighed when she said, "I think he's dreamy."

The Saturday Stuntline is shaping up as...

The Early Game
  • Match-Up: Denver (6-5) at Minnesota (2-9)
  • Preview: 6th Grader more excited to see Son of God than beloved Vikings. Joey Mintz, a 12 year old living in a suburb of Minneapolis, can simply not wait for Sunday's game between the Broncos and his beloved Vikings. "I love my Vikings, don't get me wrong, but when will I ever get the chance to see the Son of God again—and, see him playing football nonetheless," said Mintz. "We go to church every Sunday, and we talk about Jesus saving this person and that person. Now, to have the chance to watch him save a city, a fallen franchise, and a coach's career—that truly is the work of our Lord, isn't it?" Richard Mintz, Joey's father, is not quite as enthused, but shares some of his son's Tebow-love. "Joseph's mother and I divorced 6 years ago. I don't go to church with them. I lost my job at the mill last year. And, I'm a raging alcoholic. But—if some chubby, God-toutin', spikey haired kid can put on a pair of shoulder pads, pretend he's a quarterback, and rattle of 4 wins in a row for a team that Josh McDaniels assembled, then maybe—just maybe—there is hope for me. I don't believe in God, but I guess I'm starting to believe in Tim Tebow."
  • Munch's Hunch: Tebow spelled backwards is God. Go Broncos!
  • StuntDad Diatribe: The Broncos have a better road record than they do at home. Their running game is solid and the defense has been stingy. And, Tim Tebow is 5-1 as a starter. We'd be fools not to pick them, right? Wrong. The Vikings are bad, actually they are horrible, but their defense is ok. Especially against the run. Every game against Tim Tebow has been Super Bowls for defenses, and this week we are going to see a rejuvenated Vikings team play like they have never played all season. Adrian Peterson's absence will be missed, but look for Toby "White Power" Gerhart to have a monster game in this week's Who's Your God Bowl. Vikings spear Broncos 24-21.
The Late Game
  • Match-Up: Baltimore (8-3) at Cleveland (4-7)
  • Preview: Cleveland Mayor encourages city to let their dogs out. Mayor Frank G. Jackson issued a tweet at 12:30am on Tuesday morning suggesting that Cleveland dog owners should let their canines loose on the streets of the city immediately after Sunday's kick-off against the Ravens. Jackson's tweet read, "@ 4:06pm on Sunday, let your mothaf@#$ dogs out Cleveland!" Since the tweet, nearly 5,000 residents have expressed both confusion and concern to City officials. "It's always a week from hell when Frank starts drinking during Monday Night Football," said the Mayor's secretary, Patti Gillroy. "PETA has called every (expletive) day. The Felines of the Flats Social Society is now planning a +250 dog parade down 4th street. And, the Cleveland's Women Journal took out a half-page ad in the city paper running a new "Boot the Boys Sunday" campaign, prompting wives to kick their husbands out of their houses at 4:06pm sharp." City treasurer, Tweed Bindle, added, "Frank doesn't realize the influence his tweets have on this city. This summer, when the Indians were in first place, the Yankees were coming into town for the weekend. He tweeted, "Scalp the yanks this weekend! Go Tribe!" and we ended up with 150 homicides in just 3 days." The 65 year old mayor has since handed over control of his Twitter account to his management team, stating on his blog Friday morning, "Up until today, I have posted virtually everyone of my tweets on my own, but clearly the platform has become too big to be managed by a single individual. While I will continue to express myself through @chocolatethunder, I'm turning the management of the feed over to my team at Big Dog Media to ensure the quality of its content."
  • Munch's Hunch: No harming doggies. Go Ravens!
  • StuntDad Diatribe: Each of the Ravens 3 losses have come against subpar teams following really big wins. On Thanksgiving, Baltimore showed the NFL they are for real by manhandling the 49ers. This Sunday, they will show the NFL that they are a fluke. They have the defense, but I don't like Joe Flacco. He has looked miserable against a lot of bad teams, and now he'll be facing the league's 6th best defense. Plus, Colt McCoy has never beaten any team in his division (0-6), which means he's due. I like the Browns running game, whether its Ogbonnaya or Hillis, to run all over a defense that won't have Ray Lewis. Look for a major upset in this week's Dogfight Bowl. Browns bite Ravens 21-17.
The Night Game
  • Match-Up: Detroit (7-4) at New Orleans (8-3)
  • Preview: Referee requests not to work Sunday Night Football game. 61 year old Ed Hochuli reportedly called Roger Goodell to ask the commissioner if someone else could referee Sunday night's game between the Detroit Lions and New Orleans Saints. "I've been running up and down NFL fields for nearly 20 years, but give me a break here," said Hochuli. "These teams go back and forth quicker than Jim Boeheim answering questions about Bernie Fine. I asked Commissioner Goodell to show a little compassion. My family will be watching. I've got two teenage boys for God's sake! Do they really need to see their father throwing up on the sidelines after each touchdown?" University of Iowa graduate assistant and long-time Hochuli fan, Chad Buckley, would also like to see the muscular referee be assigned to a different game. "During my darkest days this year as an Iowa Hawkeye football fan, Ed Hercules has inspired me to be a better me. I would ask myself over and over, 'What Would Ed Hochuli do?' I've done my best to give more long winded explanations of simple events which are obvious to everyone and you know what? It feels great. There is no greater joy to me these days than to ramble aimlessly, knowing people don't really give a crap about what I'm saying," said the 28 year old Buckley. "Give him the Jets/Skins game. They can't pass worth a lick and no one is going to watch that game anyways."
  • Munch's Hunch: Mumbo jumbo, me likey gumbo. Go Saints!
  • StuntDad Diatribe: Touchdowns, touchdowns, touchdowns! This game will be a red zone lovers dream as two of the most explosive offenses go head-to-head. It's a shame that Ndamukong Suh won't be playing, but honestly—would it really have mattered? Drew Brees is going to carve up the Lions defense regardless as I expect nothing less than 4 touchdown passes from him. The only question is whether Matt Stafford can throw 5? I don't see it happening, but I do see a passing extravaganza, with both teams combining for nearly 800 yards through the air. However, I don't think Detroit will have enough in the tank in this week's Big Easy Shootout Bowl. Saints cage Lions 44-38.
Now, we turn to Stunt Dad Nation on your thoughts on these and other games from around the league.

Likes, dislikes, hits, & misses?

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