Tuesday, December 20, 2011

12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 8

On the eight day of Christmas I would like the universe to give to me, 8 ways of Kings!

With all the chores, decisions, entertaining, shopping, and traveling brought upon me by the holidays, it takes more than a mere mortal to survive the hustle and bustle unscathed. That's why I am asking for the 8 ways of Kings to help me through.
  1. I need the touch of King Midas to help me pay for all the presents, dinners, plane tickets, and drinks that come with the holiday season and all it's festivities. 
  2. I need the wisdom of King Solomon to help me choose fair and welcomed presents. 
  3. I need the cunning of King Odysseus to navigate the booby-trapped conversations of drunken relatives. 
  4. I need the peaceful rule of King Augustus (Caesar) to keep the holidays from turning into a bloody battlefield. 
  5. I need the strength of King Alexander the Great to fight the mobs crowding the stores and streets. 
  6. I need the voice of the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley, to croon holiday songs in a way that doesn't make my family cover their ears.
  7. I need the feet of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, to whisk my wife away in a holiday dance. 
  8. Finally, I need the speaking skills of Dr. Martin Luther King to give one hell of a holiday toast.

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