Tuesday, December 13, 2011

12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 1

On the first day of Christmas Chaos I would like the universe to give to me…. A healthy dose of honesty.

I have no idea what my wife wants for Christmas. Does this make me a bad guy? Am I somehow less of a husband? I think not. The truth of the matter is that I would give my dearest love the moon, if she would only mention that she wanted it. For years, I have tried to crack the code of the perfect gift. Does it sparkle? Is it considerate? Could there be one magical item at Target that will end all of her worries and make her life a bit easier? I don’t know? Please for the love of God, please just tell me. I would even be willing to play a game of hot and cold.

“Is it something you wear?”


“Is it something you have told me about before.”


“Is there any chance I am ever going to think of it?”

“I doubt it.”

The Hall of Bad Gifts includes the following: 
  • Clothes: Wrong size. Wrong color. Wrong fabric. Wrong style. Wrong gift. 
  • Housewares: Nothing says I love you like a blender. 
  • Jewelry: Too cheap to try...I'll admit it. 
  • Purse/Bag: Christmas morning is not the time to learn that Louie Fatone is not a purse designer, but actually a cousin of Joey Fatone’s that makes cheap knock-offs. 
  •  Book of Love Coupons: An entire year without redemption…even though I remind her that there is no expiration date and Tuesdays are Double Coupon day.  
So ladies, here is what we want this year… a healthy dose of honesty. Please just tell us what you want (we will even take it in word jumble form or hide and seek… whatever amuses you more).

To see future days, click below:

12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 7
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 6
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 5
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 4
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 3
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 2
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 1

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