Friday, December 16, 2011

5 Free Gifts Your Stunt Dad Will Love!

Stunt Dad HQ just finished doing a detailed audience audit and realized that the ladies likey them some Stunt Dad too! In fact, just as many beautiful women read Stunt Dad as badass dads read Stunt Dad. Sorry, should I have Chimichanga's that? So this post goes out to the ladies—to help them show their appreciation for the Dad that already has everything. And what's more, we chose to limit the cost to FREE! Cuz their are two things money can't buy in this world: love (it can only mortgage it with a 5/1 ARM) and a Stunt Dad.

  1. Sleep. It's more precious than pork bellies, and yet no one is short selling options for it on the NYSE. OK, for you finance people out there, you probably know I know nothing about Pork Bellies, Options, or Short Selling... but it sounded cool. So put an order in for a big dose of it for your Stunt Dad this holiday season and see how the blood flows back into his pasty-white face and he starts getting the kids names right again. Here's how: take the kids out early one morning to go see santa. Leave a beer and some cookies on the night stand. Turn off cell phones, home phones, and the dog. Then slip away quietly and let Stunt Dad re-live a college Sunday when he didn't leave bed 'til the second game. 
  2. Organization. Dad's are like kids. I didn't need to tell you that, did I? But it's true. Dad's want to know and see and be able to predict where things are and where things belong. They hate asking, "Where is the thermometer? Are you sure this isn't the rectal one?" They also hate when they are told they put something in the wrong place. Because most of the time, if they put it anywhere, they thought that was the right place. So how do you know what Daddy needs organized? That's easy! What is he is always asking you to find? Or what is it you are always asking for where he put? That's the source of the pain, and the path to happiness. 
  3. Boys Night. Schedule a night for your Stunt Dad to hang with his old buddies. Poker, rock out, whittle wood, watch a game, braid hair, whatever he used to do BK. He'll enjoy that he didn't have to do the leg work to get all the other dad's schedules and stars to align as well as ask you for the night out.
  4. Stripper Pole. Wait. No. That probably costs money. Sorry, different post.
  5. Google Hang Out. For those tech savvy readers out there, Google has introduced a new component to social media with Hangouts. If you have a Google+ (Google Plus) account, you can create a Google Circle of your Stunt Dad's favorite people that he has not seen in a long time and live to far away to see in person. Then, schedule a time when everyone in the circle will "hang out" online. Google+ Hangouts will facilitate a group video chat or virtual party, if you will, and connect your Stunt Dad to some of his disparate (not desperate) friends and family this holiday season.   
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