Saturday, December 17, 2011

12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 5

On the fifth day of Christmas Chaos I would like the universe to give to me….5 Needless Things!

A long time ago a friend gave me some advice...he says to me, "bub Christmas and birthday gifts should be something the person would never buy for themselves". That's pretty awesome advice and prevents me from buying my wife air conditioner filters for our anniversary. So asking the universe to follow the same sage advice. There are 5 awesome things that no grown adult has purpose for:
  1. WowWee Robosapien Humanoid Toy Robot with Remote Control
    What is cooler than a robot that can do 5 different kung fu moves? A robot that can do 6 different kung fu moves! But Steven Koleman from SD put it best in his Amazon review, "It's great for impressing your friends or making your own robot movies."
  2. Underwear
    We stopped wearing them in high school because we thought it would help us score. We didn't wear them in college to save money on laundry. We started wearing them in our twenties because we couldn't control the urge to drop our pants in public places when drinking. But now that we are dads, we don't do that anymore, so they are needless, but I still want some. Perhaps with a zebra pattern?
  3. Chia Pet
    I have always wanted a Chia Pet and if I get one this year I will hug him, and stroke him, and cuddle him, and call him George. There is something magical about Chia. Mind you, I wouldn't actually eat anything grown from George. It would just be fun to give him a mohawk, forget to water him and re-gift him next year.
  4. Laser Pointer
    While there are a few good uses for laser pointers, it is their non useful uses that make them irresistible. Messing with cats is hours of fun and can make you a YouTube star. Freaking out the accountant in the building next you will make you the office funny guy and perhaps provide a pant wetting (remember we don't wear underwear) visit from occifer friendly. But the best useless use of this needless thing is to build a laser surveillance system with these instructions from instructables
  5. A Wallet
    With the internet, RFID chips, banks too big to fail and Google working together to digitize all monetary transactions, this may be the last wallet you ever own. Like the way of the pocket watch, wallets will soon be needless relics of the past and items only nerdy historians purchase to pretend they live in a classier time.
How about you? What needless gift would make you as giddy as a kid in a candy shop?

To see previous days, click below:
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 4
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 3
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 2
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 1

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