Saturday, November 19, 2011

Munch's Hunches: NFL Week 11

Perhaps distracted by the arrival of his new sister, Munch finished a disappointing 1-2 in Week 10. This led to the a father-son talk on how best to handle distractions, specially with his love for gambling. I identified some critical do's and dont's that the little guy can take with him for life. The most important thing Munch should remember is to bet with the head, not the heart. I know he thinks that Indians are the coolest thing ever, but they happen to be two of the worst teams in football (KC and Washington). And, the one thing I told Munch never to do—is bet his sister. His eyes widened when he saw her for the first time, and I know, that somewhere in that head of his, he was thinking—is she worth 5 G.I. Joes or 10?

The Saturday Stuntline is shaping up as...

The Early Game
  • Match-Up: Cincinnati (6-3) at Baltimore (6-3)
  • Preview: Andy Dalton experiences mistaken identity. With the NFL obsession over the likes of Tim Tebow and Cam Newton, rookie Bengal quarterback, Andy Dalton, is feeling ignored more than ever. "I got into Baltimore on Wednesday for some early sightseeing and walked into a bar. Everyone pointed at me and immediately asked for my autograph. When I started signing, people kept asking me who Andy Dalton was, " said, Andy Dalton. "The bartender pulled me aside, apologized, and then told me that 'any red-haired, white guy who walks into the bar gets mistaken for Richie Cunningham.' I told the bartender that I didn't know who Richie Cunningham is, but to add that name to the list of quarterbacks that I hate." Dalton has nearly 20,000 followers on his "NFL Quarterbacks I'd Beat the Crap Out Of" Twitter feed. Each week Dalton nominates one quarterback and details how he literally would mess them up in a dark alley. For fun, we polled the 20,000 followers and asked them who they thought Andy Dalton was. We even showed them a picture of Andy in his Bengal jersey. Still, nearly 95% responded with, "Mike McQueary."
  • Munch's Hunch: I don't like Gingers. Go Ravens!
  • StuntDad Diatribe: Andy Dalton and the Bengals are on a mission. I have no idea who Andy Dalton is, but his name always appears whenever I search the Cincinnati Bengals, so maybe he's a coach or something. At any rate, Marvin Lewis has done well against his former team, winning 9 out of the past 13, and will take advantage of a Ray-Lewis-Less Raven defense by throwing, throwing and throwing. This will be the win that puts the Bengals on the map this year by shocking the Ravens in this week's Who's Andy Dalton Bowl. Bengals claw Ravens 21-20.
The Late Game
  • Match-Up: Tennessee (5-4) at Atlanta (5-4)
  • Preview: Roddy White's grandmother a no-show for weekly Bingo Night. Two weeks after rookie Falcon wide receiver Julio Jones torched the Indianapolis Colts for 131 yards and 2 touchdowns, Dolores White, the grandmother of Falcon wideout Roddy White, is still avoiding the Tuesday Bingo Night at the local rotary club. "She came in here two weeks, hootin' and hollerin' about that damn son of hers, catching balls, scoring touchdowns, " says fellow Bingo player Marla Johnson. "Rick Petersen finally stood up and told her that it was Julio Jones who was catching those touchdowns and not Roddy. Well, of course, sh*t hit the fan and she became hysterical, until ol' Rick showed her the front page of the newspaper." Rick noted the similarities between the two players: tall, wide receiver, dreadlocks, but Dolores remained unconvinced. When Rick also pointed out that the name on the back of the jersey read Jones, and not White, Dolores snapped before storming out of the building, "They probably switched jerseys at halftime, you damn fool." Ah yes, the old jersey switcheroo—a Mike Smith classic. Dolores has not been seen or heard from since.
  • Munch's Hunch: Switcheroo is a fun word to say. Go Falcons!
  • StuntDad Diatribe: I think we are going to witness a CJ2K coming out party. He finally cracked the +100 yard mark last week, the first time in a long time, and I wouldn't be surprised if he neared 200 yards rushing with a couple of touchdowns. Atlanta is a complete mess after losing last week to the Saints in overtime and Matt Ryan is not the quarterback he was a year ago. AFC beats NFC in this week's Confederate Bowl. Titans spear Falcons 30-28.
The Night Game
  • Match-Up: Philadelphia (3-6) at New York Giants (6-3)
  • Preview: Vince Young asked coach to "Tebow" the game plan. When Michael Vick announced that he could barely walk on Wednesday, it was assumed that Vince Young would be taking over as QB1 against the New York Giants on Sunday night. When Young was made aware of this, he apparently had a sit down with coach Andy Reid to discuss how they can tweak the game plan to better suit his skills, like Denver did with Tim Tebow. Young is best known for scoring a 6 on his Wonderlic test—one of the questions read, "In your own words, describe what a quarterback means to you" and Vince's answer was "a refund." Due to the challenges Vince has with intelligence, he reportedly asked Coach Reid to "dumb down" the playbook, specifically asking that all plays that involve him be limited to hiking the ball and letting him read the defense. Reid reportedly drew several x's and o's on a blackboard to get a sense of Vince's reads on defenses and the quarterback looked at Reid and said, "I love you too, Coach."
  • Munch's Hunch: I'm all about the love, Go Eagles!
  • StuntDad Diatribe: No Michael Vick, no chance for the Eagles. To go 3-6 with one of those most talented teams in the league is an embarrassment. Their star receiver was benched for missing a team meeting. They lost to Arizona—at home. Can you say rock bottom? Meanwhile, Eli has his Giants winning 3 out the past 4, including a game last week against SF that they should have won. The Giants defense will bull rush Vince Young and send him scrabbling for Prozac in this week's Beasts of the East Bowl. Giants medicate Eagles 28-10.
Now, we turn to StuntDad Nation on your thoughts on these and other games from around the league.

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