Thursday, November 3, 2011

5 Tips to Surviving Your First Parent Teacher Conference...for Pre-School

I just jumped through the ring of fire and attended my very first parent teacher conference...for pre-school. Here are 5 tips to help you avoid certain death and potential parentry embarrassment.
  1. Be On Time. Don't be late unless you roll in with a luggage bag and a cab receipt from the airport. It shows the other parents who the disorganized slackers are and they will ban Billy from playing with your kid.
  2. Avert Thine Eyes. For some reason pretty young women like to teach kids. Good for them, bad for daddy. Look at your shoes and the artwork on the wall, because mommy knows she's hot and she's watching for your reaction.
  3. Don't Sit Down. Those little chairs are dangerous! Teachers practice every day and make it look easy to sit on a miniature doll chair. But those chairs can dump you on your ass faster than Mike Tyson, and right in front of Ms Hottie.
  4. Be In Agreement. If you have a serious issue to discuss with the teacher, it's a good idea to discuss with your wife first and make sure you two are the right page. There is nothing worse than starting a conversation with "I don't think Jr is getting enough attention" and having it end with "If you like Ms Hottie so much, why don't you marry her?".
  5. Avoid accusations. Don't interrogate the other parents with the intent of finding out which one their little spawns pushed your kid down or brought the head lice into school for show and tell. Chances are those parents didn't show's Ms Hottie's job to keep the kids in check and to keep the head lice outside wherever lice live.
For some more info and advice on parent teacher conferences you can also check out
    Anyone else have parent teacher conference advice? Or maybe perhaps Ms Hottie's phone number?
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