Saturday, January 7, 2012

Munch's Hunches: NFL Playoffs Preview

For Christmas this year, Munch didn't ask for nudie playing cards. He didn't ask for an automatic card shuffler. And, surprisingly, he didn't ask for The World's Greatest Blackjack Book (which he just went gaga over when we watched The Hangover). Instead, my 20-month old son asked for a plane ticket. A plane ticket to the biggest week of sports in the history of the Big Easy. According to my gambling, sports-nut of a son, this was "a once in a lifetime opportunity." Perhaps I should have put my foot down given that he's not even 2 years old and probably shouldn't be traveling across the country by himself, but he looked just too darn cute in his backward Hornets cap, Saints onesie, and Tiger booties. To put me over the edge, he showed me his itinerary.
  • Tuesday Sugar Bowl: #13 Michigan vs. # 17 Virginia Tech (Superdome)
  • Wednesday NBA Basketball: New Orleans Hornets host Philadelphia 76ers (New Orleans Arena)
  • Friday NBA Basketball: New Orleans Hornets host Denver Nuggets (New Orleans Arena)
  • Saturday NFC Wildcard Round: New Orleans Saints host Detroit Lions (Superdome)
  • Monday BCS Championship: #1 LSU vs. #2 Alabama (Superdome)

I had to admit, I would be a real jerk of a father to not let my son attend a sporting event line-up like that. So, I did what every dad in that situation would have done. I purchased tickets to each of the games, got him a limo to O'Hare, a ticket in 1st Class, a 7-night stay at the Four Seasons, and handed him my credit card for the week. As excited as he was, I insisted that he return home on Tuesday so that he'd be ready to go back to Darling Angels Daycare on Wednesday morning, 8am sharp. Munch nodded and confidently proclaimed, "By the time I get back, I'm going to have won so much cash that we can buy that daycare and rename it Munch's Angels." What can I say, every kid has their priorities.

However, what Munch also has is vision—evident by a piece of paper I found in his bedroom last night. The paper was titled 2011-12 NFL Playoff Picture and featured a scribbled an analysis of each team's odds to win the Super Bowl.


  • Baltimore Ravens:  The similarities to the 2000 Super Bowl team is uncanny. Tough D? Check. Great RB? Check. Balding, caucasian quarterback? Check.
  • Cincinnati Bengals: Rookie AJ Green's quote sums it up perfectly, "I'm just happy to be here."
  • Denver Broncos: One win will give Timmer respect and the starting job next year, one loss will give Denver respect and Timmer will be shitcanned next year.
  • Houston Texans: Only 1 rookie QB has ever won the Super Bowl. His name is Kurt Warner and he's a Hall of Famer. Sorry Texan fans, TJ Yates will never be heading to Canton. 
  • New England Patriots: never bet against Tom Brady, unless his defense ranks 30th and his offensive coordinator becomes the poor sap who takes the Penn State job. Gulp, on both accounts. 
  • Pittsburgh Steelers: Unless he's playing a team that consists of 20-year old women, Roethlisberger and Co. won't be beating anyone in this year's playoffs


  • Atlanta Falcons: They have an offense built for points, a defense that can't cover wide receivers, and they will need to beat 3 quarterbacks who threw for nearly or more than 5,000 yards (Manning, Brees, Rodgers). 
  • Detroit Lions: The reward for a humiliated franchise that has finally made the playoffs for the first since 1999? Flying 3 hours to be humiliated by Drew Brees. 
  • Green Bay Packers: Their offense is great, but their rushing game isn't. Their pass defense isn't horrible, but they will face Drew Brees. And, the only thing harder than winning the Super Bowl, is repeating as Super Bowl Champs. 
  • New Orleans Saints: Number 1 offense. Number 1 offensive live. Number 1 quarterback. Defense wins championships, but this offense will win the Super Bowl. 
  • NY Giants: Only 2 teams have gone 9-7 and reached the Super Bowl. And, both of them lost. 
  • San Francisco 49ers: A defense good enough to shut out any team they face. An offense bad enough to shut themselves out against any team they face.

Munch's Superbowl Hunch: Saints 34 - Ravens 24

Now, we turn to Stunt Dad Nation on your thoughts on this analysis.

Likes, dislikes, hits, & misses?

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