5 Free Gifts Your Stunt Dad Will Love!

Stunt Dad HQ just finished doing a detailed audience audit and realized that the ladies likey them some Stunt Dad too! In fact, just as many beautiful women read Stunt Dad as badass dads read Stunt Dad. Sorry, should I have Chimichanga's that? So this post goes out to the ladies—to help them show their appreciation for the Dad that already has everything. And what's more, we chose to limit the cost to FREE! Cuz their are two things money can't buy in this world: love (it can only mortgage it with a 5/1 ARM) and a Stunt Dad.

1. Sleep. It's more precious than pork bellies, and yet no one is short selling options for it on the NYSE. OK, for you finance people out there, you probably know I know nothing about Pork Bellies, Options, or Short Selling... but it sounded cool. So put an order in for a big dose of it for your Stunt Dad this holiday season and see how the blood flows back into his pasty-white face and he starts getting the kids names right again. Here's how: take the kids out early one morning to go see santa. Leave a beer and some cookies on the night stand. Turn off cell phones, home phones, and the dog. Then slip away quietly and let Stunt Dad re-live a college Sunday when he didn't leave bed 'til the second game. 
2. Organization. Dad's are like kids. I didn't need to tell you that, did I? But it's true. Dad's want to know and see and be able to predict where things are and where things belong. They hate asking, "Where is the thermometer? Are you sure this isn't the rectal one?" They also hate when they are told they put something in the wrong place. Because most of the time, if they put it anywhere, they thought that was the right place. So how do you know what Daddy needs organized? That's easy! What is he is always asking you to find? Or what is it you are always asking for where he put? That's the source of the pain, and the path to happiness. 
3. Boys Night. Schedule a night for your Stunt Dad to hang with his old buddies. Poker, rock out, whittle wood, watch a game, braid hair, whatever he used to do BK. He'll enjoy that he didn't have to do the leg work to get all the other dad's schedules and stars to align as well as ask you for the night out.
4. Stripper Pole. Wait. No. That probably costs money. Sorry, different post.
5. Google Hang Out. For those tech savvy readers out there, Google has introduced a new component to social media with Hangouts. If you have a Google+ (Google Plus) account, you can create a Google Circle of your Stunt Dad's favorite people that he has not seen in a long time and live to far away to see in person. Then, schedule a time when everyone in the circle will "hang out" online. Google+ Hangouts will facilitate a group video chat or virtual party, if you will, and connect your Stunt Dad to some of his disparate (not desperate) friends and family this holiday season.   

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12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 3

On the third day of Christmas Chaos, I would like the Universe to give to me...three of Martha's friends.

Not the friends from her kitchen. I don't need help with making meals that includes words such as saffron, sage, or spice-infused. If we do any kind of food combinations over the holidays, it will be a McGangBang from McDonalds.  And, I won't be needing the the friends she made in prison either. While I'm sure they can teach me the best way to hot-glue seashells to electronic ankle bracelets, I actually made it a point to not invite any ex-con family members to Christmas. Sorry Uncle Jack!

However, to the Martha Stewart friends who know the difference between brown and nutmeg or red and crimson, who can turn every napkin in my house into a swan, or who can take years of randomly collected Christmas crap and turn our house into a living space that Pottery Barn could be envious of—I want you for Christmas. I need you actually. Between two jobs, two kids, and too little sleep—Wifey and I don't have the time, energy or desire to hang streamers of white, cut-out acorns from our rafters or make a Scandinavian-style Cedar Wreath Chandelier.

In fact, if it involves scissors or tying bows, we're probably going to take a pass. Because at the end of the day, our house is going to look like Hallmark. Not the Hallmark catalog, where family rooms and kitchens are beautifully adorned with holiday garland and amaryills centerpieces, but actually a Hallmark store. The store where crappy snow globes are crammed onto one table, a sagging fake Christmas tree is full of meaningless keepsake ornaments in the corner, and every mantel in the store contains an infinite amount of mini-Christmas Village collectibles. That will be our house. An Uncle Eddy-Clark Griswold-infused house. And, there is no good reason on Earth why we need to have a 5" porcelain Charles Dickens' Village Mini-Counting House above our fireplace.

Which is why we need the help of Martha Stewart's friends. Just 3 of them. 3 of them to cover the 3 essential parts of any home during the holidays. One to decorate the family room. One to decorate the kitchen. And, one to decorate the entry way, because as Martha always says, "The entryway is the window to your home's soul." I want my family, my friends, my neighbors, my postman, my pizza guy, and everyone else who steps into our house to see, smell, and feel Christmas. I want them leaving my home with visions of periwinkle and scarlet, the trail of potpourri, and a burning desire to drive to their local Starbucks for a Peppermint Mocha Latte.

And, it would be extra nice if they told their friends that they saw the most incredible nutmeg and crimson slip cover they had ever seen. Just sayin'...


To see previous days, click below:
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 2
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 1

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App Of The Week: Video Trifecta

I've missed a few Stunt Dad posts last week due to some extensive traveling. But what I didn't miss was spending some face time with the boys—and I have 3 apps to thank for that. These little wonders of technology allowed me to both see my children's smiling faces as well as play some video-friendly games with them—and I am sharing these apps with you today.

FaceTime is a bit of awesomeness from Apple that makes video calls from Apple devices a fairly simple process. On the iPhone, it is an option you can select from your contacts lists—so starting a video chat is as easy as a click. The big benefit with FaceTime is that the person on the other end does not have to be logged into a service in order to receive a video call. So it is much like making a regular phone call. Monkey has an iPod touch, so all he has to do is click to initiate a video call—and as long as I am connected trough a WiFi network—my phone rings and I answer to a giddy little boy. The downside is that (at least in my experience) calls are dropped often and it can take a long time for calls to connect. Much of our video call time using FaceTime may be spent redialing.

VTOK is a great app for those homes that are big GMail/GChat users. VTOK let's you use GChat via your smartphone to IM, SMS (using Google Voice number), or video chat. This is a great service to use when you have either agreed to give someone a call or you see they are logged in and you want to holla'. The app mentions that it will run in the background so that you don't have to be logged in to receive phone calls, but I have not had much luck with that. After a while, I seem to be unavailable to incoming calls. The app description also says it works over 3G, although I believe that is just for the IM and SMS features. The upside to VTOK is that the calls tend to connect quicker. Tthe downside is the making sure everyone is logged in (although maybe that is a bug in the process of getting fixed or my own user issue).

Skype is the final video chat app that I used for video calls, and after the first day, begrudgingly became the default . I say begrudgingly because my work and home are already entrenched in GMail, so I was reticent to have to login and maintain a Skype account. But in the end, it required less tech support (my wife was having problems getting GChat plugin installed on a newly restored laptop) and it provided quick connecting with the best call stability. Over seven thousand miles away, Skype connected me to my family so I could eat dinner with their breakfast and breakfast with their dinner.

And now for 3 fun video games to play while far far away.

Superman: There is a lot of magic to be made with a camera. To pretend to fly, simply bend over in a right angle position and stick your arms out like superman. Then, slowly move into the camera frame making sure never to reveal your legs. To your little one it will look like your flying on the screen.

Hide and Guess: Take turns covering up the camera and then hiding. Then, uncover the camera and the other person gets 5 guesses as to where you are hiding.

Lick: To a 3 year old, there is something hysterically funny about seeing the screen turn into a gross gigantic tongue. Before saying goodbye, we usually trade "licks" by getting within a few inches of the camera, opening our mouths wide, sticking out that big licker, and licking up. For the visual to really work you will need to practice what distance from the camera gets the grossest results, and therefore, the biggest laughs.

How about you? What video apps or games do you play when far far away? Pin It Now!

12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 2

On the second day of Christmas Chaos I would like the Universe to give to me…. two days with buds. 

Part of the story behind the holiday season is the ability to get together with the ones you love. Elaborate events are planned. Ridiculous dinners are created. Decadent deserts are devoured. The only trouble with this is that it is often at the neglect of the ones you truly want to be with...your friends. Sure you get to spend 5 hours with a cousin that you haven't seen in 3 years and listen as he preaches about what is wrong with the modern World Wrestling Federation (he really seems to have something against somebody called John Cena). Of course, you do get to hear all about your Aunt's recent gynecological surgery while she dives into a heaping plate of mashed potatoes. And yes, nothing can quite top the eventual discussion about who gets what whenever the resident patriarch dies ("Chad, I really want you to have your grandpa's collection of Nazi soldier ears when I die. Don't let (insert cousin) get them, he will just sell them on the internets."). But while all of this is quite entertaining, I really just want to hang out with my friends for a while.

As a father you rarely have time for yourself and even less time for friends. I see my friends maybe once a month and it is usually part of a "family play date" where I cart my kids over to their house and instead of yelling at our kids by ourselves, we get to do it together. Sure we get to have the cursory "How is the job going? Have you heard from so and so?" discussions, but it never really gets to that deep level that it use to before kids. With all of the running around between drop offs for practices, attending children's birthday parties and the focus on checking things of the to do list, the month comes and goes so quick. By the time we finally get together, I am barely there.

A dream scenario would be a nice two day trip somewhere where I can get together with my closest friends from over the years. 48 hours of uninterrupted time together with the singular goal of really hanging out. It doesn't have to be anything excessive, although if we could integrate a gyro machine into the day, it would be fantastic. But if that is not possible, I would be happy with a couple cases of Shiner beer and a PlayStation 3. There is nothing better than drinking and video games with friends on a cold day.


To see previous days, click below:
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 1

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Technology Is Killing Your Sperm

Sure, you are "connected" all the time and are a social butterfly that could score at any moment. But when it comes to making babies, all that connectivity may be reducing your odds. Recently, Huffington Post published a quick article that Wi-Fi was the latest thug to bully your sperm count. While reading the article, it felt like deja-vu all over again—same threats, different device. A quick Google search (which probably does not harm your sperm but instead catalogues each one and ranks them according to relevant keyword) brought me 3 other threats to your wiggle worms of the technical sort. Why are we being punished and being made to chose between gadgets and kids? Can't we have it all?

Wi-Fi is sourrounding your swimmers

Cell phones are attacking from the left, or the right, depending on which pocket you keep your phone

Laptops are burning your scrotum




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12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 1

On the first day of Christmas Chaos I would like the universe to give to me…. A healthy dose of honesty.

I have no idea what my wife wants for Christmas. Does this make me a bad guy? Am I somehow less of a husband? I think not. The truth of the matter is that I would give my dearest love the moon, if she would only mention that she wanted it. For years, I have tried to crack the code of the perfect gift. Does it sparkle? Is it considerate? Could there be one magical item at Target that will end all of her worries and make her life a bit easier? I don’t know? Please for the love of God, please just tell me. I would even be willing to play a game of hot and cold.

“Is it something you wear?”

“Cold”

“Is it something you have told me about before.”

“Hot”

“Is there any chance I am ever going to think of it?”

“I doubt it.”

The Hall of Bad Gifts includes the following: 

• Clothes: Wrong size. Wrong color. Wrong fabric. Wrong style. Wrong gift. 
• Housewares: Nothing says I love you like a blender. 
• Jewelry: Too cheap to try...I'll admit it. 
• Purse/Bag: Christmas morning is not the time to learn that Louie Fatone is not a purse designer, but actually a cousin of Joey Fatone’s that makes cheap knock-offs. 
•  Book of Love Coupons: An entire year without redemption…even though I remind her that there is no expiration date and Tuesdays are Double Coupon day.  

So ladies, here is what we want this year… a healthy dose of honesty. Please just tell us what you want (we will even take it in word jumble form or hide and seek… whatever amuses you more).



To see future days, click below:

12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 7
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 6
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 5
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 4
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 3
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 2
12 Days of Christmas Chaos: Day 1

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App of the Week: DocScanner

 

As a father, there are lots of documents that require your penmanship: health insurance forms, permission slips, health club membership contracts, etc, etc. I downloaded this fun app a few months ago and have used it at least 2 times a week ever since. It turns your iPhone into a scanner. Hold it over your paper or document you want to scan. It uses the iPhone camera to grab a pic. Next, it helps render the text for greater legibility. Then you can simply email the forms away. For the $4.99 that it cost, it has saved me a lot of time and has made getting signed forms to certain people via email a breeze. Check out DocScanner today.

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Keeping Christmas From Turning Into Crapmas

We are only a couple of weeks from a magical time of year. A time where people are a little nicer, when the weather is little colder, and when daddy is a little poorer. Every year we always say "Let's not waste any money this year." and "Let's make sure we only buy what we need." But somehow we always end up about $500 lighter and a house filled with plastic crap that will soon be making it's way to the back of the closet. But things are going to be a bit different this year...we have a plan. Here is how we are approaching holiday shopping this year:

1. Give Them Something They Want. Fine. I get it. They really want that new transforming robot unicorn that shoots play dough out of his horn when you squeeze it's tail. They have only been telling me about it every time that commercial comes on tv. Yes. I know that it is going to break 10 minutes after they open it. Yes. I know that I will spend an hour trying to find that one random microscopic accessorie that came with it. Yes. I know that they will forget about it in a week and start playing with the left over wrapping paper tubes. But I love them—and if it makes them happy—then I am good with it. 
2. Give Them Something They Need. Sometimes the best things are things they can't even think of even if you ask them. Start thinking about what it is you have noticed that they need (education games or drawing supplies) or maybe something you think they need to help them start a new hobby or area of interest (sports equipment or musical instruments). It might not be the big winner on Christmas Eve, but in the long run, I can bet you dollars to donuts (I believe that with the weak economy the conversion rate is 2 dollars to every donut) that this will get more use than the toy they wanted. 
3. Give Them Something to Wear. Kids never get excited about clothes. Tough. You can't have your little ones walking around looking like extras from Oliver Twist. So get your kids some cool gear (perhaps something from the StuntDad Stuff store – coming January 2012).
4. Give Them Something to Read. Reading is fundamental and can actually be kind of fun. Depending on the age, a book is a great gift that can start a lifetime of entertainment. For toddlers, start thinking about specific areas of development that you are interesteed in having them build upon. For 5-8 year olds, I highly recommend starting a series like Captain Underpants. And for 8 an above, start looking into chapter books like Sisters Grimm Fairy Tale Detectives or Alex Ryder Spy Series. 
5. Give Them Something to Experience. Some of the best gifts in this world never come in a box. There are so many better things to spend your money on than "stuff".  Think about things that you would like for them to experience, such as a trip to the circus, a day at the museum, or maybe even a trip to an indoor waterpark. While these might not be traditional "gifts", these are the type of things that your child will remember later on in life. 
6. Give Them Something to Provide Perspective.  It easy to get caught up in the "I want" mindset this time of year, but I think it is important that children understand that not everybody is that lucky. Some folks are struggling out there and could use a little help. I think it would be a great idea to have your kids participate in a Toys for Tots program or maybe go to a local shelter and pass out something small to all of the kids (Matchbox cars are only $1 and you can get dolls from the Dollar Store). Or maybe even just scheduling time after Christmas to sit the kids down and explain to them that some kids don't have toys and that we need to go through ours and find toys that we don't play with anymore that we can give to those kids. 

Do you have any tricks to keeping Christmas under control? Any ideas that you want to share? 

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