It's Never Too Soon To Start Thinking About Your Next Family Trip

So the other morning I was making my way home from an after-party when I overheard two mothers talking while walking their children to school. The one turned to the other and began to explain how difficult it was to have the children all cooped up inside during the winter. She and her husband were trying to decide where they could take the kids during their "spring break" that would offer them an outlet for full-on kid craziness and fun.

After hearing this, I proceeded to talk to the two ladies about their dilemma. I handed the one mother my glow sticks as I pulled out my iPhone and searched for the following url:

www.citymuseum.org/site/

If you're looking for a one-of-a-kind place where your kids can explore and run wild (and you can partake of some adult beverages on-site), look no further than St. Louis' own City Museum. This place is like Disney World on an acid trip with a little bit of the movies Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Labrynth thrown in for good measure. The 600,000 square-foot system of surrealism is housed in the multi-story former International Shoe Company building. But not even the building can contain the imagination of this space as it explodes out to the roof and beyond. It features a 5,000 gallon aquarium, a network of tunnels, tree houses, caves, and 2 Saber 40 aircraft fuselages and buses suspended stories above the pavement below. It's beyond insane.

Not only is it perfect for playing, but it's tremendous for teaching. Included among the menagerie of mazes and metal are a number of historical areas: an architecture museum, a functioning shoelace factory, an opera poster museum, a natural history museum, and a number of other unexpected attractions.

And best of all, the museum features multiple bars. It's the perfect mix of distraction for kids and drinking for adults. As an uncle, I happen to enjoy the balance of the ball pit and the bar. Uncle Terry likey.

So the next time you start thinking of a place to take the kids, forego the typical water park or amusement park and check out the City Museum in St. Louis. 

And that's my take on it.

Do you have unique places to recommend to Stunt Dad nation? If so, please share your recommendations.

- Not a parenting blog, not a daddy blog, not a mommy blog — it's a Stunt Dad blog.

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A Brave New Dating World

I hear it from dads all the time, "Dude, I envy you. You have no idea how hard being a father can be. Some days I just wanna be in your shoes, you awesome single guy." And it's right then that it happens—I can see it in their eyes—their gaze sorta glazes over and they're suddenly reflecting back upon their single days when they were carefree, out at the bars, and eyeing every girl who walked by. Ah… that's the life. That's what you miss. Oh the memories. Well I'm here to tell you… that's all it is. A distant memory. It ain't like that anymore, boys. 

Dad dudes, the landscape of dating has changed since you were out there those many years ago battling it out in the bars. You wouldn't recognize it today. The game has a new look altogether. A new set of rules. A new team of players. It's no longer charm, wit, and looks that wins the day. No. Now it's all done though social media channels—Foursquare, Facebook, and Yelp, oh my!

Walk into a bar these days and look around. What do you see? Groups of girls with their noses buried in the latest mobile device. Eye contact? Thing of the past. Casual conversation? Gone the way of the dodo bird. Getting a girl's digits? No one calls anyone anymore. Now its all about your online presence. Looking at profile pictures has replaced eye contact. Checking the status list has replaced conversation. And connecting through screen names has replaced phone numbers. And most of these girls aren't even talking to each other either—they're just huddled in circles texting and checking status updates.

In the past, girls would react to your clever comments and attention-getting behavior… (which was taking place right in front of them at the bar). Now, girls comment on your comments (comments on Facebook and Yelp). That's how you meet and interact with these young 20-somethings. You're not even actually with them. Believe it or not, 5 of my dates in the past month with this new breed of babes have occurred over foursquare and Yelp. I have no idea how I even got sucked into it. And then after a few exchanges, it hits you, "How do I even know if this chick is at least 18? Or if she's even A CHICK AT ALL?!" Oh… it's a brave new world, my friends… a brave, twisted, tragic, demented, new world.

And recently, the few times I have been able to penetrate this protective ring of the formidable chick click in a public setting, the conversation that follows is almost always unintelligible. You need the Rosetta Stone of Sally, Sarah, and Susie to decipher what these girls mean. Here's the break down (in % of frequency of occurrence) of what they mention, comment, or say:

20%: "OhMyGod" (This is one word, mind you).

25%: "Shut up!" (This is always used as an exclamation in reaction to the previous comment, even when the subject being discussed doesn't warrant its use. For example, "It looks like they're setting up a buffet in the back of the bar.").

20%: "Whatever" (This is often used when they are incapable of actually constructing a true retort. It kinda kills the conversation).

10%: "…just like in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." (I never read this book. I don't know any guys who did either. And I don't plan on reading it now just to be able to discuss it with a 24-year-old account manager drinking appletinis at a bar to increase my chances of hooking up).

15%: "So do you like Edward or Jacob? How can you like Jacob?! He's no good for Bella." (What is with this Twilight series? And why are these chicks so fascinated by werewolves and vampires?!).

10%: I refer to this as chick-chat (These are random comments about book club, shows like Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill on the CW, and kitten videos that they want to share with you on their smart phone.

And let's say you eventually DO have a live encounter. And let's say things DO go well. What then? Do you list your new "social-media partner" as a "location" of sorts. "Check-in"… at Shannon's. "To Do"… Shannon! "Tips"… she likes to cuddle afterwards. Well, guess that makes me the "Mayor" now. "Badge" me!

So dads, take it from me. The next time you're sitting there at home in your recliner wondering what it would be like to be sitting on a barstool instead… stick with the Lazy-boy and tv remote and be glad you got out of the game in the nick of time.


And that's my take on it.

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Baby On Board... Not at My Bar

Recently, our very own Stunt  Ben posted an article recalling the night his 3-year-old son, Monkey, accompanied him to an upscale bar/restaurant to meet with a number of his adult friends whom he hadn't seen in some time. And based upon his description of the evening, as well as the hour at which the reunion occurred, I say fine. No foul. In fact, well done, Stunt Ben—you found a way to be a good father by spending time with your child while still upholding your commitment to your peers by spending time with them.

That said, this one outing with a kid does not mean that it's always ok to bring a baby to a bar. Now I'm not arguing this from the perspective of shielding the child from the likes of dangerous characters, gamblers, and prostitutes (heck, our own Stunt Pete encourages such behavior with his 20-month-year-old son—he's already something of a hustler - see Munch's Hunches). Hey, baby's gonna learn eventually. Rather, I'm arguing this from the POV of the single guys at the bar. Don't ruin our bar!

Look, we're talking about a sacred place. A refuge, of sorts. A place where men can go and be men. Where we can watch sports. Talk about sports. Do what we want. Say what we want. Drink what we what. Throw peanut shells on the ground and not get yelled at. And when there's no more sports to watch, pick up chicks. This is what happens at bars. This is the contract of conduct to which all patrons should subscribe. Then all of a sudden, I see a mom shooting angry looks at  the patrons because they are loud or are using unsavory language in the presence of her baby. Hey mom… IT'S A BAR!! 

Now I'm not totally against having babies at bars. Heck, some of my fondest childhood memories occurred at local drinking establishments. But there were rules back in those days. Rules you and your dad lived by. And whether it was the corner bar or the barber shop or the Elks Lodge, the rules were simple and they were the same: don't speak unless spoken to, don't move from your seat, don't touch anything unless it's handed to you, don't run with scissors (this was mostly at the barber shop), and don't tell your mother that you were here. So maybe it's time to refresh these rules a bit seeing as how parents are taking more liberties these days about bringing little Billy to the bar.

The DOs and DON'Ts of Baby Bar Etiquette: When It Is OK & NOT OK to Bring Baby to the Bar)

It's ok when…

–The bar/restaurant primarily serves pizza, has beer as a courtesy, plays sports on the plasmas, and has an animatronic hillbilly bear band over in the corner. That's fine. Bring your kid.

It's not ok when…

–The primary draw of the establishment is bucket beer specials, all you can eat hot wings, and wet T-shirt contests. NOT kid friendly.

It's ok when…

–The left page of the menu is all salad. Family friendly.

It's not ok when…

–The bathroom is a place where inebriated individuals are tossing their salad. NOT kid friendly.

It's ok when…

–The establishment has a spot in the alcove where mothers can breast feed their baby in peace. That's a kiddie spot.

It's not ok when…

–The location is one where revealing a breast would start a panic resulting in the tossing of Washingtons in the direction of said mommy… NOT a kid friendly bar. (Dude, these lines cannot be blurred. An exposed breast at a bar—that's sending mixed messages. You can understand, right?).

It's ok when…

–The name of the establishment is an acronym, such as T.G.I.Friday's. Take the whole family to dinner.

It's not ok when…

–The name of the bar contains words like "Duke's Place" or "Sports Bar" or "Live Girls". Take the family to see a Harry Potter film.

In many cases, it has more to do with the time of day that you're out. A lazy Saturday afternoon... sure, let the kid hang out for a bit. But when in doubt, here's an easy little pneumonic device you can use:

If the sun's up above, then baby gets love.

If the sun's down below, then baby must go!

So dads—just use your best judgement. Just like our National Parks—from the majestic redwoods of California to the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee—a bar is a treasured place that we must all protect.

And that's my take on it.

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Giving Thanks at Stunt Dad HQ

It is that time of the year again. Time to gorge yourself on turkey, devour a pumpkin pie, and—though sometimes forgotten—give thinks. Here at Stunt Dad, we wanted to share with you the top 5 things we are each thankful for this year. 

#5 Push-Up Bras: Men don't stop being men after becoming a daddy. They still have the hots for mommy. But just as daddyhood builds out the "tool shed" (the roof over the tool) and removes hair in clumps; midnight feedings and gravity take their toll on mommies lovely figure too. And while daddy's remedy is hitting the gym and massaging in the Rogaine, mommy can visit Victoria's Secret and look like the million bucks she did that drunken night in Manhattan that led to becoming a daddy :-)

#4 Business Travel: Business travel sucks. You eat like Chimichonga (chimichonga = swear word of your choosing), Amway newbies stalk the airport terminals wanting to tell you how great their business opportunity is, and from luggage to sanity it is guaranteed you will lose something. But the highlight of business travel is the sleep. It's the only time you will close your eyes and not wake up again until the alarm blows.

#3 Beer: Men have had sorrows to drown for thousands of years and beer has been there for them. Just because it has been a part of father's lives for 6,000 years it should NOT be taken for granted. Respect the beer and give thanks.

#2 Mommy: I don't need to remind you why you should be thankful for mommy. You chose her as your partner in crime to mess those kids up together...that's teamwork! So be thankful, and maybe she'll break out the push-up bra.

#1 Being a Dad: Nothing BK (Before Kids, Glossary To Come) is as rewarding as spending every bit of your time, money, worry, and love for the little person you helped bring into the world. It is the best thing that has happened or will ever happen to a man.

#5 TV: I love TV. Since I was a kid, the tv has been my main source for education, life lessons, and comedy 101. I would not be the man I am today without the help of Benny Hill, Jackie Gleason, Saturday Night Live, The Twilight Zone, The Wonder Years, and South Park. I probably watch about 20 hours of tv a week as I am multitasking other things. I know a lot of it is junk and I am trying to avoid it...how I will miss you immoral young ladies of The Real World, but there is some really amazing stuff out there today...and I love every minute of it.

#4 Perspective: I have really struggled over the past 10 years with my anger. I think most if it has to do with not having what I want, not being exactly where I think I should be, or just a general negative focus on me...and really missing the big picture. Thanks to my wife and my kids, I really have gained a perspective that I don't think single men could ever understand. Maybe I am not the VP of a marketing company...yet, but I am the CEO of an amazing family (o.k., my wife is really the CEO, but she lets me make the big speeches because of my amazing PowerPoint skills).

#3 Friends...Stunt Friends: We have been doing this blog for a couple of months now and the time I have spent with Stunt Pete, Stunt Ben, and Uncle Terry have been some of the best times I have ever had.  As you get older, it is harder to make friends, and even harder to make "dad" friends. I have been lucky to get both in one shot. If you don't have a group of guys you can hang out with, you need to get them. But take my advice—don't put an ad on Craig's List that states "Looking for Dudes To Have a Good Time With"....that will not end well.

#2 Having the Hot Wife on the Playground: I know that this is going to come across as bragging, but it is not...it is a fact. Every time we go out to the park to play with the kids, my wife is the hottest around. Sure there are those moms that want to show off their playground cleavage as they give their kid an underdog or display their lace leopard thong while on the teeter totter, but my wife rises way above them. She is the embodiment of a MILF (Mother I'll Love Forever).

#1 Now that Stunt Ben has set the bar, I guess I am the a-hole if I don't put Being a Dad as #1: I was going to say something witty like "twenty-year-old women that don't understand that H&M's clothes are made from fabric that is really thin" or "that it is difficult for people to know your real identity on Facebook (I will still love you Big Scott even when you find out that I am not a 32 year old waitress from Cleveland that secretly dreams of opening a store that just sells Bedazzled jean jackets...you will always be in my heart.)"...but no, Stunt Ben set the bar and I guess I will stick with it...being a dad.

#5 Liquids: Yes, it is true. The makers of beer, wine, liquor and other fine spirits were all fathers, and as a father, it would practically be sacrilege to avoid them. And this holiday season, when we celebrate Thanksgiving with family, we'll also be celebrating with friends. Our close buddies in Jim, Jack, and Joe. Their darker, brother from another mother in 2-Buck Chuck and their distant cousins in Samuel and Stella. These friends make the whining more tolerable, the crying more forgettable, and the diaper explosions more understandable.

#4 Liberty: I don't really know anyone in the military per se, but I feel like I owe all them my thanks for letting my enjoy the little freedoms that I take for granted on a daily basis. This past weekend is a great example. How many countries give their citizens the freedom to cover Kohl's, Best Buy, Children's Place, and the Gap in the same strip mall—amazing, right? Or, how many countries close off one of the busiest streets (Michigan Ave in Chicago) on a Saturday night for three hours so Mickey Mouse can lead a parade of gigantic balloons, Rudolph, Woody Woodpecker, and the Nutcracker, to name a few—do you think Libya feels safe enough to hold parades on their streets or even let their citizens leave their houses? And finally, on Sunday, I introduced Munch to the greatest television feature known to man: DirectTV's RedZone package. We saw 28 touchdowns, 6 goal-line stands, 3 interceptions, and a forced fumble inside the 5 yard line. Beat that Iraq! So, to all of those serve and keep our borders safe, thank you and keep doing what you do, wherever you do it, and how you do it.

#3 Laughter: After the mushy stuff is said and done, there is nothing I value, need, or crave more than laughter. Laugher comes in all shapes, sizes, and forms; from family, from friends, from co-workers and recently—from group texting. And, specifically with the "4 Horseman." I have 3 buddies that I've known longer than most people in life. They're great dudes, they're fathers, and they're funnier than hell. None of us are phone chatters (we'll leave that mode of communication to the lady folk), but we are definitely texters. And with the group text feature on our iPhones, it makes for comic relief at any given point of the day. No phone calls or emails can capture the quick-witted lines from these guys such as, "Avoid the triple black diamonds (to 2 of the guys who are skiing in Colorado this week). Those are harder than Jerry Sandusky at a boy scout meeting" or "(in regards to the news that K2 has just arrived) We can keep our daughters pure by having them form a band. Their first single can be a remake of: 'Our Lips Are Sealed.'' After Munch resisting bed time and shrieking louder than his newborn sister's crying, these texts keep me sane and punchy. And, who doesn't like to feel a little punchy?

#2 Life: With the recent birth of K2, the miracle of life will never cease to amaze me. Amidst all of the crap in the world and the potential for crap to happen, my wife delivered two, healthy bouncing babies without any complications to them—or her. Munch, a year and a half ago, and now K2. No missing ears, both have all of their toes, and neither have birthmarks that would make Drew Brees' mole envious. Some may say it's luck, some may say it's destiny, or some may say it just means sh*t will hit the fan 10 years from now. Regardless of what they say, I've never been happier in my life. There's no miracle like the miracle of a little person conducting his own "little Indy 500" by running laps around our condo like a chicken with his head cut off and an even littler person stalking his every move, patiently waiting for the age when she is big enough to either follow him or clobber him upside the head.

#1 Love: Wifey was the first girl I ever said "I Love You" to, and actually meant it. (Sorry mom, I'm not talking about that kind of love). Wifey is beautiful, and moreso than just her looks, which to say, are very easy on the eyes. I hear it in how she mothers our children: the gentleness of singing our newborn daughter (K2) to sleep her arms while then explaining to our 18 month old son (Munch) that the humidifier is not a rocking horse. I see it in how she interacts with people: the genuine interest she shows when talking to friends about life's little surprises (good & bad) and the humorous stories she tells when talking to family about the latest person, place, or thing that Munch referred to as "poo-poo." And, I feel it in our friendship: the support she shows for me spending six hours every Tuesday night with my StuntDad crew and the excitement she has for me to have a boys weekend in Colorado just 30 days after our daughter was born. (I, err, she can barely contain herself).

#1 The Ability to Hand Kids Back to Their Parents When They Start Crying: No explanation required.  

What about you? What are you thankful this year? Let us know in the comments.

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